Many thanks to Mindy for covering the recaplet while I was too busy contemplating giving up on NFL football for good. Previously on Dexter: Didja hear that Dex has gone all domesticated? Because he has. Three kids and a wife and a minivan and ... okay, scratch that minivan, as it got totaled in the car wreck. But the kids are still there, three little constant reminders of how uncool he's become. Oh, also: Lundy and Deb had a workplace romance, while Angel and LaGuerta currently do.
We open on what I totally thought was a dream sequence but is not: Dexter regarding everyone at a neighborhood backyard BBQ. While Dexter's voice-over blah-blahs about the primal nature of man and how BBQs are remnants of the times when the men would have to communally take down great beasts to feed their families (zzzzzzz...), we're reminded that we'll be revisiting a theme this week. And that theme is "Dexter will never fit in with the rest of the world, never ever ever ever." I won't bore you guys with going through every instance in the show where this concept has been displayed inconsistently, so I say we just go with it: This week, Dexter is an incurable social misfit unable to do anything but barely fake it.
Dexter pours out some conspicuously red daiquiris (because: BLOOD), then offers the kids some sodas. Only Astor is still firmly entrenched in the Bitchiful Tweens and thus hates everything, and her buddy Jesse the Unconvincing Stoner decides he'd rather play his drumsticks on Dexter's drink-serving tray. And again, in the interests of getting the obvious out of the way early: We all wish Dex would just chuck the Code and murder Jesse just because he's annoying. Consider that a given even when I'm not mentioning it.
Rita pulls Dex aside and totally busts him for lying about his concussion last week. She called the doctor to check up on him and everything. I can't tell whether this is just a natural extension of Rita, Needy Single Mom, or if the writers are going overboard with how much of a drag it is to have a wife and kids. Bottom line is that, in keeping with doctor's orders, Rita will be driving Dexter everywhere for the next week or so. Dex tries to object, but Rita goes further: "The past few weeks you have not been the most present father and husband." Dexter's VO rationalizes it for him: Play nice with the carpool and there will be more slack on that ball-n-chain for when he wants to get some killin' done.