Dexter
Dexter

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Joe R: C+ | 1560 USERS: B-
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Vandal in the Wind

Meanwhile, Quinn must've gotten out of work early, because he's already in bed with Christine. Of course, he's too busy fuming about Dexter to enjoy the topless massage she's giving him. He dismisses Dex as a "lab geek," then Christine probes further. Verbally, sickos. In his weakened state, Quinn totally starts blabbing about his day spent throwing dummies out of windows, all because of Lundy's theory about a serial killer. Christine rolls Quinn over and proceeds to reward him for giving her her next big story.

At the hotel bar, Lundy catches Deb up on the history of his Trinity investigation. He's tracked Trinity from Raleigh, through Louisville, San Francisco, Detroit, Richmond -- never the same place twice, until now. Lundy orders them another couple of drinks as Deb needles him for not being able to relax in retirement. "This is how I relax," Lundy says. "I thought I was bad," Deb smirks. "You are," says Lundy. "You're exactly the same as me. Only in a much prettier package." Deb smiles and asks if he's flirting with her. Deb then gets a text from Anton, and she confirms with him that she's "working late." So Anton calls her a second later, asking if she wants him to order takeout, but she again blows him off. Look, it's Anton's own fault for not being an old cop who reminds Deb of her Dad in creepy ways none of us want to talk about.

Back in the 'burbs, Dexter's broken into Jesse's garage, while in the background we hear a car window shatter and the alarm goes off. So with Jesse out vandalizing, Dexter thinks this is the perfect opportunity to sneak into the kid's room and lie in wait, then "scare the shit out of [him]." One problem: Jesse's asleep in his bedroom. Huh-WUHHH?? Yes, you will be shocked to know that Jesse was a red herring all along. So who's the vandal? Yes, I know you're way ahead of me (and the show), but humor me, will you? Dexter hears a noise downstairs and peeks down to see Andy walking in, blunt instrument in hand.

So Dexter pulls down his mask, flicks on his head lamp (I'm not even gonna go into how stupid it was to use the Neighborhood Watch-issued equipment to carry out this assault, except to once again say that the risk Dexter is incurring (which is great) so far outweighs the reward (which is almost nothing)). Dex follows Andy into the garage, turns the light off, and does his best to disguise his voice as he harasses Andy. The flashlight shining in Andy's face means he can't get a look at Dexter at all, even to see the mask. "If you so much as touch another window, I will come back here, and I will leave with your head in a bag. I already have the bag." Andy looks duly frightened into submission ... until he's not. "Fuck you!" he yells, and swings at Dex's head with the wrench. As they struggle, Andy Explains It All for Dexter, us. He lost his job, his wife died, his son hates him, the banks' gonna take his house, and his neighbors are rich asshole with jobs, houses, wives, and kids who don't carry douche drumsticks everywhere. Add about 27 "fuck"s and you've pretty much got it. Andy lunges at Dexter, but Dex gets the upper hand and puts him against the wall, where he makes a threat that lands: Keep up the vandalism, and I'll come back and kill Jesse. Andy backs down at that one real damn quick. "All that other stuff is over," Dexter demands. He makes Andy say it.

Dexter

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