Blinded By the Light

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C+ | 1 USERS: C-
Vandal in the Wind

Deb's at her desk, arguing with Masuka against the test results saying Tarla Grant jumped. Quinn chimes in that autopsy results came back and reported a just-discovered tumor. Maybe she was "taking the easy way out"? Deb won't buy it and cites the lack of suicide note. Quinn -- less harsh about it now -- says not everyone leaves a note.

Meanwhile, LaGuerta is quietly freaking to Angel about getting debriefed for their shooing incident. So freaked that she opted to wear her purple jacket and skirt in a shade of Lenten violet rather than Screaming Ruby Blue. She tells him they need to get their story straight about why they left the precinct at 12:30 and arrived at Nikki's apartment at 3:30. Angel coolly says they grabbed a bite to eat, then got a flat tire. Works for LaGuerta, though I'll be sure to let you know whenever she breathes again. LaGuerta then heads to Deb's desk and lets her know they're closing the Tarla Grant case, Lundy be damned. Deb protests, but LaGuerta's adamant: She can follow up on her own time if she wishes, but between the Vacation Murders and Lisa Bell, her plate is awfully full.

Dexter walks into work on the phone with Rita (um...who just drove him to work, then?), who's telling him that Cody cut his foot on glass from the car that crashed up on the lawn. He's fine, but this is just another reason (well, "reason") for Dexter to go after Jesse, I guess. When he gets off the phone, Quinn's already made a beeline to Dex's office. He wants to know WTF about the Dolphins tickets. He's been going out of his way to make friends, but Dexter keeps throwing it back in his face. Weary of this whole dance, Dexter tells it straight: "I don't care if you're a dirty cop." And while this should placate Quinn, it instead sets him off on a localized rant about how hard he works and how little he gets paid and he puts his life on the line and that money would've ended up in the pocket of some fatass evidence clerk anyway and don't you DARE call him a dirty cop. Dexter naturally doesn't need this noise. He takes it all back and simply reassures Quinn that he had no interest in ratting him out. "Just keep my sister out of it, okay?" Quinn looks at Dexter with some curiosity but also some contempt: "You don't understand any of this, do you?" (DO YOU THINK HE MEANS ABOUT BEING A SOCIOPATH BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE HE MEANS BUT OH WAIT HE MEANS SOMETHING ELSE.) "You can't, 'cause you're not a cop. You're not one of us." Damn, Quinn, way to be a dick now that you don't have to kiss his ass anymore.

Later, Deb drops Dexter off at home and notices his extreme reluctance to exit the car. "They're always there," he says of Rita and the kids. Deb can kind of hear that these days, with her feeling awfully cramped due to Anton actually being home all the time now. "And now Lundy shows up," she adds. Dex asks if that's good or bad. Deb's got no fucking clue. She then fails to stifle a giggle. "We're complaining because people want to be with us? How lame is that?" Self-awareness, Deb! Keep it up. She asks him if he thinks Tarla Grant killed herself; he doesn't. What would make her jump freely without getting pushed, then? Dexter: "Fear is a powerful motivator." If it sounds like he's saying that more admiringly than he should be, you're right. Deb finally sends him inside.

Rita greets Dexter with a smile and points him toward Cody, who's taken up refuge in the fort he's built in the living room. As per Harry's observation, Dexter's great at making Cody feel better about his hurt foot. It's Astor who Dex has the problem relating to, as his voice-over makes clear. She's in a mood about something or other. Dexter musters up the courage to approach the scowling beast. He apologizes for being weird lately -- he knows she's not a kid anymore. "Sometimes I'm just...dumb." Astor continues to stare at her cheep teen magazine (magazine?) for a moment, as Dex starts to walk away. Finally willing to be human once again, Astor tells Dex it's okay. "You can be dumb." Okay, that was kind of sweet.

That night, LaGuerta and Angel take the elevator alone. Exhausted and still rattled from the shootout, she kind of collapses into his shoulder for a moment, before checking herself and pulling back away. "It's funny," she notes, "a few months ago after a shootout like this, if people saw me leaning against you, they wouldn't think twice." They still won't, Angel assures her. "I think twice," LaGuerta says, afraid people will misinterpret. Angel pulls her back close and says, "Let them misinterpret." He kisses her sweetly and tells her he needs this as much as she does.

Meanwhile, Quinn must've gotten out of work early, because he's already in bed with Christine. Of course, he's too busy fuming about Dexter to enjoy the topless massage she's giving him. He dismisses Dex as a "lab geek," then Christine probes further. Verbally, sickos. In his weakened state, Quinn totally starts blabbing about his day spent throwing dummies out of windows, all because of Lundy's theory about a serial killer. Christine rolls Quinn over and proceeds to reward him for giving her her next big story.

At the hotel bar, Lundy catches Deb up on the history of his Trinity investigation. He's tracked Trinity from Raleigh, through Louisville, San Francisco, Detroit, Richmond -- never the same place twice, until now. Lundy orders them another couple of drinks as Deb needles him for not being able to relax in retirement. "This is how I relax," Lundy says. "I thought I was bad," Deb smirks. "You are," says Lundy. "You're exactly the same as me. Only in a much prettier package." Deb smiles and asks if he's flirting with her. Deb then gets a text from Anton, and she confirms with him that she's "working late." So Anton calls her a second later, asking if she wants him to order takeout, but she again blows him off. Look, it's Anton's own fault for not being an old cop who reminds Deb of her Dad in creepy ways none of us want to talk about.

Back in the 'burbs, Dexter's broken into Jesse's garage, while in the background we hear a car window shatter and the alarm goes off. So with Jesse out vandalizing, Dexter thinks this is the perfect opportunity to sneak into the kid's room and lie in wait, then "scare the shit out of [him]." One problem: Jesse's asleep in his bedroom. Huh-WUHHH?? Yes, you will be shocked to know that Jesse was a red herring all along. So who's the vandal? Yes, I know you're way ahead of me (and the show), but humor me, will you? Dexter hears a noise downstairs and peeks down to see Andy walking in, blunt instrument in hand.

So Dexter pulls down his mask, flicks on his head lamp (I'm not even gonna go into how stupid it was to use the Neighborhood Watch-issued equipment to carry out this assault, except to once again say that the risk Dexter is incurring (which is great) so far outweighs the reward (which is almost nothing)). Dex follows Andy into the garage, turns the light off, and does his best to disguise his voice as he harasses Andy. The flashlight shining in Andy's face means he can't get a look at Dexter at all, even to see the mask. "If you so much as touch another window, I will come back here, and I will leave with your head in a bag. I already have the bag." Andy looks duly frightened into submission ... until he's not. "Fuck you!" he yells, and swings at Dex's head with the wrench. As they struggle, Andy Explains It All for Dexter, us. He lost his job, his wife died, his son hates him, the banks' gonna take his house, and his neighbors are rich asshole with jobs, houses, wives, and kids who don't carry douche drumsticks everywhere. Add about 27 "fuck"s and you've pretty much got it. Andy lunges at Dexter, but Dex gets the upper hand and puts him against the wall, where he makes a threat that lands: Keep up the vandalism, and I'll come back and kill Jesse. Andy backs down at that one real damn quick. "All that other stuff is over," Dexter demands. He makes Andy say it.

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