Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | 2 USERS: A
Dex 'n' Doakes 'n' Doakes 'n' Dex, parlez-vous? Astor and Cody, and how they're enjoying this I'll never know, because it's pretty bad. Dude, come on, you were the Emcee in Cabaret! I guess MCH figured Dexter would be a shitty singer. Whatever. After he's done, he and Rita are watching TV when she abruptly puts it on mute and starts nibbling on his ear. He VOs, "Every time a woman tries to do this to me it...tickles. Still, it's not entirely unpleasant." Dexter pulls away a bit, and Rita wants to know if there's anything wrong. "Kids...?" "Oh, they sleep through thunderstorms." Nice! Come on, Dexter, don't puss out. She's a total babe and she wants you. They start having a major frenching sesh, and Dexter actually goes for the boob, which really surprises me, to be honest. Of course, things get a bit too heavy to quickly for Rita, who's still on edge, sex-wise, from the, er, aggressive methods of her ex, and she turns away. "I'm sorry," she says. Dexter, feigning exasperation, says, "Tell me." "I can't do this." "It's okay. I'm okay." Then, after a pregnant pause, "There's an elephant in the room and it's name is sex." "Tell me about it," Rita says softly. "As far as I'm concerned it can just stand in the corner and mind its own business," says Dex, trying to be comforting. "It has be right for both us, or it won't be right for either of us, you know?" At this Rita collapses into him, saying, "I can't believe I found the one truly decent man on the planet." Heh. I actually loved this scene. The mood is quickly ruined as Dexter unmutes the TV to learn of Cervantes's murder in jail.

Back at the precinct, Dexter and Doakes share a rare "dude nod," where they both non-verbally acknowledge the fucked-up situation they're in. Doakes is taking Cervantes's name down from the Guerrero crime family tree, and Dexter is examining the fingertips. Deb comes in, and Dex shows her that the fingers were hacked off post-mortem. "But why the nail polish? What's he thinking?" VO: "He's thinking, 'Tag, Dexter. You're it.'" Live Dexter says, "I don't know." Deb has info that the hand belongs to Sherry Taylor, "another hooker." "At least he's consistent." Deb is visibly shaken. She's upset that someone is killing these prostitutes, who have to "sell their bodies to survive, or feed their kids." VO: "My sister puts up a front so the world won't see how vulnerable she really is. Me, I put up a front so the world won't see how vulnerable I'm not." Deep, man. Some chick comes in and summons Deb to the Captain's office.

In Astor's office (no, not Rita's daughter), the Captain makes LaGuerta not only commend Debra on her police work initiative, but also promote her from Vice to Homicide. Deb is, naturally, totally happy, and as she hugs the Captain, LaGuerta looks on, visibly irritated that she had to do what she just did. After ending their embrace, Deb says, "I won't let you down, sir," and leaves. "I hope you know what you're doing," says LaGuerta. "I promoted you, didn't I? Now find me this ice truck son of a bitch." Heh, nice one, Cap'n. He's out.

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