Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | Grade It Now!
Dex And The Maiden

Lying in post-coital bliss, their minds kind of blown by what just happened, Dexter says, "Which step was that?" Heh, not bad, Dex. Lila agrees, and giggles a little bit. She has to ruin it by saying, "The naughty one." Oh, do shut up, Porsche! She ruins it even further by asking Dexter what he's thinking. "Absolutely nothing," he says convincingly. "Guess we found a way to quiet the voices in your head." "I guess so." "How do you feel?" "Much better, actually." "I guess I must be a good sponsor after all." Yeah, yeah, we get it. Nice fucking pillow talk. Meh. I mean, that was cool and everything, and I'm surely curious to see where they take this, especially as it relates to Rita, but enough. Thankfully, Dexter gets out of bed and starts putting on his pants, prompting Lila to ask where he's off to. "Still have that thing at work to deal with." Wait that means you guys have been boning for hours. Nice work! I'd expect a little more sweat, considering the humidity you're surrounded by, but hey. Lila tells him to "come back tomorrow. I promise you some serious recovery." Okay, if that kind of innuendo is going to become a regular thing, than this thing we have right here? Isn't going to work. So shut it, Lila.

Back out at the car, Dexter's cell is ringing, and naturally, it's fucking Rita. Dude, you better wash your balls if you're going over there, just sayin'. Dex answers, "Hello?" "Dexter, hey. You at work?" "Ah, I will be soon. I was just taking a break. What's going on?" "I'd really like to get together and talk. I don't like how our last conversation ended." "Me neither." She says she owes him a chance to explain: "I owe it to us." "Oh, wow, okay," he says, realizing the gravity of what he's just done. They arrange for him to come over after work, and hang up. "Apparently, my new life involves a love triangle," he VOs. Heh, true. "I'm that guy." His face totally mirrors what the voiceover just said, and it's pretty funny. Michael C. Hall is awesome. "The voices are back. Excellent." Ha! Wow, that's the most self-aware his VO has ever been.

Down at some pier where Doakes is grabbing a quick lunch, LaGuerta catches up with him. "James! You were tailing Dexter? What the hell were you thinking?" "If you wanted lunch, you could have asked," Doakes non-sequitors sarcastically. "If Dexter files a complaint, you will be kicked off the force, end of story!" "There's a reason he hasn't reported me until now," he says, still with the smarminess. "He's hiding something, Maria, I can feel it." LaGuerta: "Is this another one of your conspiracy theories?" There have been others? Interesting. And totally expected. "It's instinct," he says, removing his sunglasses. "And a hell of a lot of experience. I spent years looking the enemy in the face, and I'm telling you Morgan is dangerous." LaGuerta reminds him that his instincts haven't been so on-point as of late: "Two shootings in the last six months. Stalking a police employee --" "Listen to me," he says, bringing Maria to an area where people won't hear, "Morgan lied about the Ice Truck Killer. That crack-pipe knew way more than he ever told us." "He was trying to protect his sister! You of all people should understand that." "I followed him to an NA meeting. That asshole lied about that, too." LaGuerta tells him that he's obsessed, and that he needs to get over this shit lickety-split. "We've been through this before. Last time it cost you our relationship." Whoa, that was unexpected. I knew they'd boned, but a relationship? Hmm. LaGuerta continues, "This time it's going to get you kicked off the force, or worse!" "I'll take my chances." Hmm, sounds like they're setting Doakes up for a pretty big fall. I wonder if there's any way Dexter could try to frame Doakes for all of this. LaGuerta urges Doakes to leave Dexter alone, but is only met with his steely gaze, so she leaves.

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