Dexter

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: A- | 1129 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
I guess being a serial murderer isn't all that bad...

At the station, Dexter watches some woman crying about her lost husband, and Doakes comes up all, "What the fuck do you care about that woman?" Dexter's like, "I don't, fuck off." Everyone is heading to a briefing, and Doakes tells Laguerta he doesn't think Dexter has any business in there. Laguerta, who clearly wants to bone Dexter, thinks otherwise. So, back the shit off, Doakes! And, ew, Laguerta.

Dexter sits next to Deb, obviously, who's ready to "shame this bitch." She clearly wants to state her case so Laguerta will look stupid. Laguerta starts things off by asking if anyone tracked down the supposed witness to the killing in the pool. Nobody makes a peep, so Deb speaks up. "Oh, Officer Morgan, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on." Daaaamn! Biiiiitch! After some titters, Deb says, "Um, I have an idea. Something in a different direction." "Please, share it with us," says Laguerta, throwing shade directly at her. Very nervously, Deb shakily says, "Um, cell crystallization." Dex: "A little more confidence, please." Deb goes on: "I'd like to see if any refrigerated trucks have been stolen in the past week...or...so. That could cause that kind of cell damage." Laguerta's not biting: "That's very creative, but let's keep looking for the witness, okay?" Deb is not thrilled.

Afterwards, Deb and Dex are talking about what a shitty situation this is, when Laguerta comes in asking for Dexter. "My office, please," she says suggestively, and leaves. Deb, disgusted, asks Dexter if he's "boning her," but storms off before he has a chance to respond.

Of course, it has nothing to do with sex (at least, not right now) because it's about Doakes's case. Dexter says it isn't drug-related, because the dealer was dealt with quickly and clumsily, but the woman was killed slowly and with a level of care that would be abnormal if the killer didn't have a close personal relationship with her. He suggests that an ex-boyfriend did it, and Doakes looks pissed, because he's a dickhead. He walks up to Dexter and says, "I'm watchin' you, mothafucka." Oooh, like, I'm really scared. Douche.

Dexter

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