I thought after last week we might slow down a little; instead, what we get demonstrates that the show has completely lost its mind, and I kind of totally love it. LaGuerta continues her excellent police work by theorizing that some of their wanted murderers might have been killed by the BHB – and comes up with the idea that the BHB took out all the suspects from the barrel girls murders. Deb tries to dissuade LaGuerta from her entirely correct (even down to the idea that the BHB willingly took on an accomplice) theory, but LaGuerta's got the thread in her hands and is determined to pull it until something unravels. And she's not the only one, as Deb easily figures out that Dexter's accomplice had to be Lumen, and is thoroughly repulsed by the idea that Dexter moved her into his house so they could kill together; for the first time, she seems to have accepted who Dexter is and still be completely grossed out by him.
So it turns out that instead of seeing a kindred spirit, Dexter regards Hannah as potential bait for his table, not least because he suspects her of having pulled a Black Widow job on her husband, who died at 40. To get closer to her, he eliminates anything from his forensics report that would implicate her; it works well enough that he gets more information, the most interesting of which is that she had a female mentor in the nursery business who also just happened to pass away – a woman who had made Hannah her sole beneficiary. Then, some true-crime writer, "Sal Price" (played by the actor who was Isaac on Heroes), comes into the station. Turns out he wrote about Randall's misdeeds back in the day, and he wants to update his book with the recently uncovered info about Hannah and Randall; it also turns out that he's long held the belief that Hannah is a killer too. This complicates Dexter's life in a couple ways; one, it threatens to expose the liberties he took with the blood report, and two, Price is romantically interested in Deb, so he and his nose for crime might not be going anywhere.
However, Price does clue Dexter in to a third possible victim of Hannah's who died of poisoning, which Dexter had already speculated was her lethal weapon of choice. Dexter breaks into Price's place to get a look at more of his dossier on Hannah, but even as he's almost to the point of proving to himself that she's a murderer, Dexter has to deal with the fact that he's attracted to her as well, helped by a seductive evening visit from the woman in question. What follows is a complicated dance in which Hannah basically subtextually confesses that she kills people rather than let herself get too emotionally attached to them, and knowing that he's putting himself in danger but unable to prove her murderous intentions otherwise, Dexter prevails upon her to go out on a date with him. If it sounds effed up, that's because it is – and it's also pretty well acted.
Quinn tells Nadia about the money Jason Gedrick left for him, and she literally asks, "What good is money if you are dead?" Smart girl. Quinn, too, is uneasy about what he might be getting into in the wake of Isaak Pullo's arrest, so he returns the bribe. And speaking of, Isaak Pullo has been denied bail, but Deb, LaGuerta, and the DA are all worried that his lawyers will be able to appeal that decision successfully on a claim of self-defense, which is fairly hilarious, given that Isaak Pullo is able to dominate the Colombians in the clink without breaking a sweat or even using more than one hand. Isaak Pullo, however, is worried that he'll be forced to kill in prison, which would make a release a bit more difficult to obtain, so he summons Jason Gedrick to get him out of there before that happens, serving up that order with a side of dripping menace. Knowing his self-preservation is at stake, Jason Gedrick tells Quinn to lose the blood evidence linking Isaak Pullo to the crime – or he'll have Nadia transferred to a sex club in Dubai. On the other hand, if Quinn cooperates, Jason Gedrick will release Nadia from the Brotherhood's possession altogether. When Quinn can't get hold of Nadia for an entire day, he goes through with stealing the blood out of Evidence, so that's going to go great for everyone.
Batista tells Jamie he's thinking about retiring from the force and buying a restaurant, and given how obviously they've been writing him this season as "too old for this shit," this is probably the happiest eventuality he could have hoped for. When Deb hears about it, she's super-bummed that her lies about Anderson might have contributed to his decision, but when Batista tells her he's trying to make up for the fact that as a cop, he forgot to have a life, Deb understands – and immediately gives Price a call. On their date, Price lets an inquisitive Deb know about his Hannah theory; he also lets her know that he had an independent guy analyze the blood-spatter photos, and they indicate the second victim was killed by a much smaller assailant than Randall, so Deb is going to be all too aware that Dexter broke yet another promise to her, this one practically before the words were even out of his mouth.
In the end, Dexter takes Hannah to a reindeer theme park she always wanted to go to in her Randall days. She's delighted by the fake snow – until Dexter plunges his needle into her neck. Surrounded by a Christmas tableau, Dexter tells her he's going to kill her, but when she looks at him without fear and tells him to do what he needs to, there's a moment of total understanding between them, and instead of plunging his knife into her heart, he slices off her bonds and then gets to plunging something else into her – in front of Santa and the reindeer, no less. I told you Dexter needed an ally, but it looks like what he's got is a full-on partner in crime – one from whom I doubt he'll ever feel completely safe.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!
We open on a shot of what we'll learn is a true-crime book; it's called Love On The Run, authored by a "Sal Price." The rather thick paperback is in Dexter's hands, the better to make him look less conspicuous as he keeps an eye on Hannah, who's unloading some flowers as part of a delivery. DVO, surprisingly, lets us know that he's been fixated on the thought of putting Hannah on his table to pay her back for her murdering past; less surprising is Harry showing up to suggest that maybe Dexter should cut her some slack, as she was only fifteen when the crime happened. And look, I know "Harry" is supposed to be a representation of Dexter's subconscious or whatever, but all he ever does is play unnecessary audience surrogate or even more unnecessary devil's advocate; not only is it irritating, the latter can't be an accurate representation of Dexter's internal struggles; I've know triple Geminis who questioned their own decisions with less regularity. So from now on, I refuse to recap "Harry" unless he's saying something that might actually be relevant; there's far too much going on this season to spend time on this weak and contractually obligated sauce.
The point is, Dexter has seen a very present lust for the kill in Hannah's eyes and as such is sure that she's committed more murders in the intervening time - in fact, her husband (!) died at age 40 of a heart attack despite having no family history, which I guess means that Hannah is a fan of the film Black Widow. She just went up a notch in my book. Okay, Harry does make one good point when he asks if Dexter maybe has more pressing concerns than killing extremely nubile knife-wielding murderers, but Dexter is like, it's because of all this pressure that I feel the urge to kill more than ever, and by the way, have we met? Dexter wants to ask her about her late spouse, but realizes that he might need a peace offering after the way they left things last time. Might I suggest a Lizzie Borden bobblehead?
At the station, Deb is babbling about what a great thing bagging Isaak Pullo was when Dexter comes in late to her and LaGuerta's briefing. Deb looks at him like he just, well, killed someone, but while Dexter isn't nearly as smart or meticulous as he thinks he is, I don't think he's much of a morning killer. LaGuerta congratulates everyone, as the arraignment resulted in Isaak Pullo being denied bail, but Deb pipes up that he's got an army of lawyers that will be working to get that decision overturned. DVO notes that Isaak Pullo being in jail is probably a necessary condition of a successful Hannah kill, so Dexter pipes up that they have blood evidence placing him at the scene, like thanks, Dexter, I'm sure no one in the room was aware of that, considering it was literally the only evidence you had on which to bring him in. After Deb glares at Dexter some more, LaGuerta finishes out her pep talk...
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