Dexter

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: A- | 1191 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
"Dex Is The Great Unifier."

Inside, the place looks super dusty, and all the furniture is that mid-70s, shit-brown, cheap-ass wood. Basically, what I imagine Ikea was probably making three decades ago. There are bowling trophies, a couple of plaques on the walls, and heinous couches. "A bachelor definitely lived here," comments Rita. "I don't want a house in Dade City," says Dex. "Which means it's going to need to be packed up," Rita elaborates. "I don't think anybody else is going to do it, so I guess that leaves us. Told you you need me." Yeah, you did. It's true. It's not a terrible place. A little paint, a Swiffer...it could be liveable.

At the station, Angel looks perturbed as he sits at his desk. He sees Doakes and follows him into the break room. "Hey, James. I.A. [Internal Affairs] is pressing me on my report of the shooting. Now, there's just one thing that I can't clear on." "Pretty clear from where I was standing," says Doakes. "Yeah, except I could have sworn that I heard your nine-millimeter go off before the .38. Now, there's lots of reasons it could have gone down that way. If Bayard even just aimed at you, that's still a right to shoot." "Except, he shot first when I came around the corner." Angel tells him couldn't have gone down that way because of the blood spatter report. "Are you calling me a liar?" asks Doakes. "No, I'm sayin' maybe you're not remembering it right." Doakes tells Angel that he's not "the only honest cop in Miami." "I just want to know why a man is dead. I did not see a gun!" LaGuerta comes in, just in time before the pair come to fisticuffs, and asks to see Angel right away.

Dexter's looking at some pictures on a desk. "Is that Joe?" asks Rita. "Must be." "It's weird, but he looks a little bit like you." Dexter observes that there aren't any pictures of family or children around. "Lonely," says Rita pensively. The doorbell rings, and Dexter walks over to get the door. He opens it to find Rudy, who he's never met. "Dexter, hi," he says in a creepy tone. Yeah, way to broadcast what a freakshow you are, dude. After an awkward moment, Deb says, "Surprise!" and comes out from behind Rudy. "I know you can't ask for my help, but it's my duty to, you know...help, while you deal with old wounds..." she babbles on. Wow, Rudy's clearly done a number on her. She's so desperate for companionship that now that she has it, she'll do whatever Rudy suggests. He's got her right in the palm of his hand. Anyway, Deb finally gets around to introducing Rudy, who walks in and embraces Dexter, saying, "I've waited a long time to meet you." Hmm, what's that supposed to mean? I'm assuming this character is going to be written, from this point forward, so that everything he says has some sort of double meaning. Deb's all smiles: "He came here for me, for both of us. Isn't he great?" Oh, Jesus. Dexter smiles back at her, guardedly. Everyone starts talking about how much work all the packing is going to be, and Rudy suggests they all sleep in the house to get more done. Rita thinks it's a good idea, because then they won't have to spend money on a motel room. "It's up to you, Dex," says Rudy. "As long as you don't mind the sofa-bed," says Dexter. Rita's off to look for clean sheets.

Dexter

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