Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: A- | Grade It Now!
Which Way Did Freebo?

Which he does. He VO's that his vision is much sharper through his shadow self, when he's on the hunt. He wishes that he could see the baby situation that clearly. He told Rita he would be home in an hour. He finds himself at a kegger on a college campus. Everyone's drunk and there are some people playing strip ping-pong? Anyway, a girl with really amazing tits is losing.

Dex makes his way upstairs and two really blonde, really drunk girls are blocking a doorway and tell him that they have to give a password to get past them. He says that he's looking for "My girl Teegan." They say that Teegan is a ho, several times. They really think that Teegan is a ho. She doesn't live on campus anymore -- she lives at her "ho pad." Dexter asks for the address of said pad. Then, they ask for "party favors" and tell him they put out. Who is the ho? There's a very thin line, ladies. It's like those girls walked out the front door and Teegan walked out the back. Dex tells them that he'll trade them drugs for Teegan's address, so one of the girls whips out her Blackberry and tells him. He tells them that he's going to grab his stash and ditches them. On the way out, we see a jock-strapped dude who is also losing at ping-pong. He's not losing at the cute hiney contest though. Dexter says, "Their parents must be proud. How much worse could my child turn out? Do I even want to know the answer to that question?"

The next morning, Dexter starts a pro and con list to weigh baby options. "Can't we just talk?" asks Rita, but Dex says that lists are easier for him sometimes. Astor and Cody enter and start playing with a soccer ball. Rita relents and asks for his pros. They're cute. Rita tells the kids not to play in the house. Dexter asks Rita for cons. "Noise, time, money, stretch marks, saggy boobs, less personal freedom." Ouch. Then, the kids break a vase with the ball. Rita sends them to their room until time to leave for school. She seems emotional and starts to clean up and cuts herself. "What am I even thinking?" she says as Dex is quiet (per usual).

Angel and Quinn knock on a door and guard themselves. Some stoner dude answers and they tell him that they need to ask some questions about Freebo. The guy, Zach, tries to act like he doesn't know who they're talking about and they remind him that he got busted with Freebo with drugs 2 years earlier. Now he remembers. This guy could not do more to seem more suspicious. He's used every tactic. They push their way into his house, because he's a parolee and they don't need a warrant.

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