Dexter TV Show - First Blood - Dexter Recaps, Dexter Reviews, Dexter Episodes

Dexter

Episode Report Card

Couch Baron: C+ | 1297 USERS: C+

YOU GRADE IT

Leavin' on a Jet Plane…

By Couch Baron | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 2010.10.24

In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

The most important thing about this episode is that a large portion of it takes place under a bridge, in one of those only-in-Florida sex offender Hoovervilles. Obviously, it was endlessly fascinating and awesome, and there should be a whole show about those things somewhere. Anyway, now that Julia Stiles is living out loud, she goes completely postal and tracks down the bastard she thinks was Boyd's accomplice. Right before she shoots him, however, Dexter stops her, as he had already kidnapped the guy the night before and noticed that his state-issued sex offender anklet would have rendered him unable to leave the molester bridge during her captivity. So the real guy is still on the loose, and Julia Stiles is determined to find him, even though Dex refuses to help her. I'm sure that'll go over great for all three of them.

Harrison scratches another kid at Mommy and Me, and the other moms accuse him of being a psychopath. Dex overhears them and kind of puts the verbal smack down on them, but it was kind of weak sauce. Even Sarah Walker can do better than that, and Sarah Walker is a moron.

There was also more of LaGuerta and Angel's marital issues stupidness, but those for the most part got resolved for now. What's important is that they brought Robocop himself, Peter Weller, into the show, which is great, even though it made no sense -- Robocop's on the take? So IA needed LaGuerta to try to have sex with him? In a co-worker banging sting? No fucking clue, but Quinn gets to the guy and offers to pay for his legal fees if he investigates Dexter for him. Robocop complies.

A lesbian tattoo artist who looks like a bizarro version of Mary-Louise Parker hits on Deb, which turns out to be meaningless, but later Deb tracks down the Santa Muerte brothers to a bar. We'll have to wait until next week to see how that pans out, however.

And, lastly, there was a shirtless Masuka in a cheetah-print thong. And two corpses full of maggots. Still deciding which was my favorite.

--Mindy Monez

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Hi there! Jeff Long is apparently having trouble with his TV, cable, or both (whatever the problem is, I sympathize) so I'll be subbing in this week. It's good timing in a couple ways -- one, my regular TWoP gig, Mad Men, just ended, so I have a bit more time on my hands now, and two, in my day job as a film producer, I just finished a movie called East Fifth Bliss, which just so happens to star one Michael C. Hall. And while I've previously recapped the work of both actors and writers I know personally, I've never been quite this excited to do it, both because Dexter is one of my favorite shows and because MCH is just that awesome both as an actor and a person. But rather than extend the gush-fest, let's get to this week's offering:

One other thing before we get started: The rivers of blood Dexter spills in service of his Dark Passenger have never bothered me in the slightest, but I have to fast-forward through the opening credits every time because the part where he cuts himself shaving makes me want to jump out of my skin. That's just me, right?

Speaking of that blood I was saying doesn't bother me, we open on a swirling red screen as DVO tells us that we all have something to hide -- "some dark place inside us we don't want the world to see." For me, that's currently the place that hides the knowledge that I've recently become addicted to REO Speedwagon songs from my youth -- whoops -- but I'm thinking Dexter's referring to something more nefarious. As the camera backs away a bit, the color on screen changes, and as DVO goes on that we pretend everything's okay by "wrapping ourselves in rainbows," and anyone who thinks that's a panacea hasn't been following the DADT debate lately.

Regardless, a rainbow of different-colored fabric moves through our field of vision before it's lifted up to reveal our hero -- he and several parents are hoisting up a multicolored carousel-tent-esque canopy over their children as part of, presumably, some organized outing. DVO tells us he wants to believe that Harrison's witnessing his mother's demise hasn't turned him into a monster, but just then, one of the other kids screams in pain, and when his mother and another woman attend to him, they see he's got a scratch on his face. They conclude that it must have been innocent roughhousing on the part of one of his classmates, but as they take him away, he points over their shoulders at Harrison all J'accuse!, and Dexter is freaked not just at the occurrence but that Harrison actually got rid of the evidence on his own finger. And given that the most efficient way for him to have done so was for him to slurp the blood up like it was his afternoon juice, I can understand why Dexter would feel like he has cause for concern here. Anyway, Dexter wisely figures he'd better get Harrison out of there before the wounded child learns how to talk...