Dexter

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: A | 3 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Best Splayed Plans
"checked out" the surveillance equipment. He looks up the corresponding case and it's from 1982, when Quinn was in grade school and eating paste. Heh. So, he knows it's a fake case and "Quinn" is monitoring him on his own.

Dexter meets Lumen and they break into Quinn's apartment. Lumen immediately starts looking up stuff on his computer. His screensaver is a hot rod. What, you were expecting, a zen garden? She makes a crack about his computer being ancient. Dexter tells her that Quinn is Deb's partner and they used to be close. Dex is looking around the apartment and doesn't find anything. He asks Lumen if she's had any luck, but she hasn't. She has, however, found a video of a cat that hiccups and farts at the same time. We see it and it's kind of amazing. "Cute," says Dexter. You know, Miss Stiles may have picked up herself a little Emmy consideration with that line right there. In his bedroom, Dexter finds a file with the pics of Lumen and Dex at the marina. He says that they have to find the digital source of the photos.

Deb and Quinn enter Dan the dentist's office as his diplomas and whatnot are being packed away. The lady packing says that their office is no longer open. Everyone, that is TWoP LEGEND Mary Cherry. Bow, bitches. Yay! Seriously, YAY! I love Leslie Grossman so much. She doesn't want to talk. She tells them that she doesn't know anything, though she should have suspected something was up with his week-long fishing trips, trips that he would call "man time." That term has a completely different meaning to her now and no one can sell that line like the Cherry. She says that Dan kept her in the dark about his whole secret gay life. Heh. Deb informs her that Dan may not have been gay -- it appears that the scene of his death may have been tampered with. BUT, he may have been involved in a series of rapes. And, Quinn adds, murders. No fun. They ask her if she recognizes any of the names of the missing dudes. Then, they ask about Jordan and she points to a trophy that Dan and Eugene won. She explains that Eugene is Jordan.

Later, Quinn asks Deb how Mary Cherry could never have known that her husband was a serial rapist/murderer and Deb says pointedly that he was probably a very good liar. Sometimes men are good at lying and it's Dan's fault, not Mary Cherry's. In the station, Batista says that Jordan lied about knowing Tilden. They should bring him in for questioning. Dexter asks Deb if she wants to come to Orlando for Harrison's birthday but she has work and can't. She spills the beans that Quinn thought Dexter might be connected to Rita's death. She laments not having someone in her life that she can trust, like the vigilante has with her killing partner. Jesus, come on. Is it that easy? It's like she knows everything that is happening. She says that the killers have "serious shit" but are kind of beautiful.

That night, at a street fair, Dexter buys a pocketknife for Lumen. It's like a ring or something in this setting. "With this knife, I pledge to cut some dudes with you." He tells her that she should leave for good, until he deals with the whole Quinn problem. She tells him that she's not going anywhere, because they are a team. He explains that Deb says they have serious shit, which of course makes Lumen like "What?" and Dex explains that she was talking about them without knowing that she was talking about them. Lumen suggests that they maybe run away together, perhaps hop a freighter. They're just being romantical, but she asks and he confirms that he wants her to stay.

Deb, Batista and Quinn are burning the midnight oil talking about the Barrel Girls case. She describes Jordan's transformation from fat trash Eugene to his current self. Batista presents Jordan's old schedules -- his fishing trips corresponded with the deaths of the girls. Batista gets a call that he has to take. He leaves the room and Quinn stares at Deb. He apologizes to her and tells her that he loves her. He says that she always says what's on her mind and he loves her filthy mouth. He doesn't want to lose her. Batista comes back and says that Jordan has denied a request for an interview and has booked a lecture tour in Europe. It looks like he's on the run. Deb says that they need to ground him as a material witness, but she won't go to LaGuerta for the court order, because she says that the LG is always shooting her down. She's going to get it herself.

Dexter is still looking for vans. He thinks he sees Quinn and approaches a van that he stepped into. He VOs that he never wanted it to come to this. What's he going to do? Would he kill Quinn? Who knows? Because, as he looks inside the van, RoboCop jumps him and tazes him, then throws him in the van. He drives away with Dexter inside.

Meanwhile, Lumen is looking at her pretty knife and using it to open coffee. She gets a call from Emily Birch, who says that Jordan called her. He knows she talked to her. She says that she's scared and is going to the police. Lumen tells her to wait -- she and Dexter will come to her. After she gets off the phone, Jordan, who is of course sitting in her house, tells Emily that she did very well. He says that she's quite the actress, which sounds a little bit menacing. Lumen is trying to reach Dexter and, clearly, he's unavailable.

Dexter wakes tied up in the back of the van. Been there. Liddy says that Dex should relax. At the station, Quinn gets a call from Liddy. He demands that Quinn get there and make his bust. Sonja texts and asks if Dexter wants to have a magician at his b-day party. Of course, reply texts Liddy. Then, he shows Dex the video of Lumen stabbing into the air. He wants Dexter to give him a full confession.

Lumen arrives at Emily's, Emily frantically insists that Dexter be there too. Lumen eventually catches on that something is really very off and says something to the effect of, "You know? Great idea. I'm just gonna go get Dexter rigggght now. La-di-dooo." And, of course, Jordan stops her. He looks really good when shot from below.

Back in the van, Liddy says that the exchange for Dexter's confession is that he'll let Lumen go free. He doesn't even really care about what Dexter may or may not have done. He just wants back on the police force. It's a good thing not everyone is this passionate about staying employed. I only kidnap pastries for work. So, I guess Liddy thinks that's all he has to do. He turns on a camera and asks Dexter for his confession. He gets a sole confession. Heh. Meaning, Dexter kicks the camera into his face. He manages to get his bound hands in front of his body and they struggle as Liddy pulls out a knife. It's all very Saving Private Ryan as the knife gets slowly plunged into Liddy's chest. Goodbye, Liddy. And, hello, Quinn! He arrives just as this is going down and knocks on the van, which can't be doing much for Dexter's nerves. He finally leaves, but not before some of Liddy's blood leaks out of the van and onto Quinn's shoe. Dex leaves with the surveillance tapes and Liddy's computer (which he throws into the water right outside of the van).

At the station, LG tells Deb that her court order was denied. She asks her why she didn't ask her for help, but Deb says that she would never go to LG for help. LG says that she has always trusted Deb's instincts as a cop. Deb's not playing. She says that she, at one point, thought that she and LaGuerta were friends. She calls her "Debra" and apologizes if she betrayed that friendship. OK, I think they write LG hot and cold all of the time on this show, but she's being genuinely contrite right now. Deb is all "fine" and trying to leave when LG shows her another court order, the court order that she got from another judge who owed her a favor. Deb says, "Fuck me. I guess I'm the asshole now." I love her.

Dexter gets to his apartment and finds Lumen missing. Meanwhile, Jordan is questioning her about his whereabouts. She says that she could call him, but he won't let her tip him off about her situation. Emily says that she could try cal

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Dexter

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