Dexter

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: A- | 2 USERS: B+
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Frenemies

The next morning, Dex gets home 45 minutes before he is supposed to be at work. He tries to take a power nap but Rita arrives, fucking with the nap like her storyline has with this season. She brought bagels, to soak up the alcohol, she says. She asks him how the party was and he says that he survived. Then, he says that, if she's wondering if he did anything stupid, he didn't. From the look on her face, that was exactly why she came over. She's relieved. She says that she heard that Syl kicked Miguel out of the house (which should do more damage to his campaign for DA than a dirty bachelor party speech) and she asks how he's doing. Dexter says that Miguel feels betrayed, and Rita points out that Miguel brought his problems on himself. She asks rhetorically who throws their marriage vows out the window and Dexter says it's someone without a Code. She agrees and asks if she really wants someone like Miguel to be his best man. No, he doesn't, but he thought he would play nice until after the wedding. Rita suggests that he consider ditching him. He asks her what she's working on and she shows him this intense spreadsheet that she has created as a to-do list for the wedding. She says that the less left to chance, the better. He asks her if they can talk about wedding stuff later (NEVER!), because he's got to shower and get to work. Rita asks him if he wants company, which he says he does, but he is in too much of a hurry.

At the station, Dexter greets everyone as they file in all hung over (and one person with a cold bottle of water on his eye) and in slow motion. He VO's that, after the party, everyone thinks that they share a secret. However, Miguel is the only person who really knows his secret. He could tell the others, but then he'd have to kill them. Oh, it's that easy? Well, then why have you waited all damn season to off Prado. It's odd to think that Dexter needed a reality-check regarding the limitations of friendship to end up here.

Vince sits beside Dex without speaking and lets out a sigh of pain. Then, Deb comes up and punches him in the arm. He calls out in pain and asks if he is the Morgan Family Punching Bag. That's totally on my Amazon.com wish list. Deb is pissed that she wasn't invited to the bachelor party, but Vince says that, because it was a bachelor party, "thongs and dongs" were required. Oddly, that was the same requirement for a voice class I took in college. You live, you learn. Vince says she could have maybe gotten an invite if she'd wanted to be talent, but she reminds him that he's gross and Dex is her brother. Vince thinks that the fact that they're not blood related is a loophole. Oh, that matters.

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Dexter

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