Dexter

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Mr. Stupidhead: B | Grade It Now!
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"Dex Will Tremble To Take Us."

A minute later, one of The Alley Cats bowls a perfect strike, and Masuka turns to Dex, saying, "Dude, just bowl a strike so we can go have some fun at the strip clubs." Way to broadcast your intentions, there, Vince. "I wish I could have fun," Dex VOs. "With Doakes tailing me, my life's been all Jekyll and no Hyde. No moonlit play-dates, no late-night social calls. Not one. My brother would be so disappointed." As Dexter prepares to roll one last time, Angel says, "Don't forget to tell the universe what you really need." "I need...to kill somebody," Dex VOs, and rolls the ball right into the gutter. He actually looks really disappointed in himself. Everyone else is disappointed to. Doakes leaves, and Dexter smiles.

"For weeks, I've known who was next, who belonged to me. I just needed Doakes to take a night off." Dex enters a small, musty voodoo shop. The shopkeeper, blind with cataracts, asks, "What do you need?" "I need to curse someone," says Dex, locking the door behind him. "What kind of curse?" laughs the shopkeeper, who I'm assuming is Haitian from his accent. "Death curse." "We don't do that kind of thing, here. You can go down to Little Haiti, find all the Hoodoo Voodoo you need there." "You are Jimmy Sensio, high priest, right?" asks Dexter as he stuffs a wad of bills into the man's hand. "The man with God in his mouth? I'm not a tourist. I need a Petro curse, and I heard you were the best." After smelling the money, Jimmy thanks Dexter for his offering and brings him to the back of the shop where he keeps all of his heavy duty curses, I guess. As soon as they get back there, Dexter slams some M99 into Jimmy's neck and the dude passes right out.

A bit later, as Jimmy is laid out on the table, wrapped in plastic, Dexter VOs: "A blind man. Not very sporting, I know. But, I'm not one to discriminate based on race, gender, or disability. Jimmy wakes up and asks what is happening. Dexter responds, "The only pertinent question is 'What happened to your victims?'" Jimmy plays stupid. Dexter explains that the fun of this is kind of ruined, seeing as Jimmy's blind and Dexter would normally be showing him pictures of the innocents he killed. "I brought them along, anyway, as part of my death ritual." He decides to verbally remind him: "Emmanuel Alzua, Jean Phillipe Peguero, Nono Baptiste." Jimmy claims that he didn't kill them, he only cursed them. "And in a remarkable coincidence they each died of respiratory failure. I guess murder is one way to make your curses come true." Heh, true. Why didn't I think of that? What? No, I didn't say anything. Oh, crap, I typed that? Anyway, Dexter cuts Jimmy's face for his blood-slide, asking him how he administered the Ricin poison to his victims. Jimmy starts "channeling" some spirit, and says in a gravelly voice , "I am the one with the power in his hands." "That's not entirely accurate," says Dex, waving his scalpel in Jimmy's blind eyes. "Those who believe in me shall be free! Alabanza! Alaban --" Dexter slaps his forehead and tells him to knock it off, and asks again how he poisoned those three people. Jimmy tells him that Madoli, his Petro spirit (whatever the hell that is: it's really hard to do a Google search for "Petro" without getting something oil-related), told him to do it, and so he did. Dexter thanks him, and covers his mouth with duct tape when he starts "channelling" again. "My ritual is almost complete," says Dex. He turns around and grabs a long, machete-looking knife. He holds it over Jimmy's head for a while, and it seems like he's having some sort of internal struggle. Finally, he drops the knife down, and it sticks in the table right next to Jimmy's face. "What the fuh?" mouths Dexter, confused at his burst of conscience. After a moment, Dex cuts him loose, saying, "Let that be a lesson to you."

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Dexter

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