Dexter

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | 814 USERS: C+
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"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Dex..."

Doakes comes in, huffing and puffing as usual. He heads to the break room for some coffee, and there's MacNamara, leaning against the wall like he's too cool for school, the prick. After a pregnant pause, he says, "Hey, Doakesie, what's up? Fuck anyone's wife lately?" Like, good one. "Thanks to your little chicken-shit stunt, I got Guerrero's guys tailin' me everywhere I go, you know that?" asks Doakes. "That's not good, James. You should contact the police," and again, ha ha. Really funny. Damn, dude, you suck! The rest of the conversation is pretty predictable: "You think this is funny? I'm gonna wind up dead." "You should have thought of that before you stuck your dick in my sister." "You're right, I should have waited until the divorce came through." Hey, now. Apparently, Cyril O'Reilly didn't know every last thing about his sister's marriage. "Bullshit," he says, not knowing what to believe. Doakes tells him to check the paperwork, and that it was Ricky's job to protect his wife. "You backed the wrong cop, asshole!" MacNamara looks like he feels like shit. Good. Damn cops.

At Rita's, it's time to get ready for school, but the kids are both staring listlessly into their cereal flakes. Rita doesn't need to ask, because the dog next door starts whining again, and it looks like Rita's had enough.

She knocks on Salty Asshole's door, and before opening the door, we can hear Salty yelling at the dog to shut up. Real nice. Rita immediately sees the twatty face that Salty is giving her, and launches into a diatribe about how her kids are exhausted and how she really needs Salty to take better care of her animal. Salty essentially laughs right in Rita's face. "Is something funny?" "No, it's sad. But, you're funny! Look at you, all tough!" Dude, I want to smack this bitch. Rita threatens to call the police, and Salty tells her that won't accomplish anything. It's like she's proud of being so inconsiderate, not to mention cruel to this poor animal. You know, I just remembered that Dexter likes to kill people! He should totally kill this woman! It's not like this dog could suffer any more. Rita walks away slowly, pausing to consider the dog through the fence. It seems like she has an idea...

Over at the station, Deb is working her way through surveillance footage as Dexter gets to work on the foot, VOing, "Unlike Harry, my new friend doesn't place much value on blending in. He wants me to see who he is and what he does. Everything about him is brazen, authentic. What does that make me?" I don't know. Discerning? Dexter drops a test tube, and exasps, "Crap!" Angel rolls up and tells Dex to not "let this asshole get to you, man," and continues to compliment him and tell him how much they need him. Then, out of nowhere, Angel busts out a little box with a hideous ring inside. Dexter asks if it's a butterfly, but Angel says that it's a diamond-studded four-leafed clover, which, geh. Ugly. Apparently he's giving it to Nina for their ten-year anniversary. Dexter congratulates him, and Angel begins to worry that "maybe it does look a little like a bug." Dexter is back in ITK world now, though, because he's just discovered that the blood flow around the severed hand and foot are consistent with them having been cut off while Tucci's heart was still pumping, which means he could still be alive.

Dexter

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