Dexter

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Dex..."

Dexter's reaction is...well, it's certainly not as enthusiastic as mine. "Whoa." "Trick or treat!" "You look great. Who are you?" Dude! I guess you've been too busy murdering to pay attention to anything ever, because...really? Really? "Lara Croft?" she says. "Tomb Raider!" "Ah," says Dex, still not getting it. "You raid tombs dressed like that?" Heh -- okay, fair enough. It seems that Rita is "sick of Snow White." I see. And I like-y! After a little banter about her "errand" earlier that afternoon, she plants a big old kiss on our leading man. "It felt so good rescuing that dog." "You upset your neighbor." "Fuck her." Hell yeah! Fuck her right in the ear! Way to go, Rita! Anyway, she says she imagines he deals with people like her neighbor all the time, and he responds, "Worse." "Is that why you haven't been yourself lately?" He tells her that he's got a case he can't get out of his mind, and she offers to help...with a raging blowjob! Woo hoo! As she heads south of the border towards Dexter's, uh, downtown bonanza, he asks, "What are you doing?" "Whatever I want," she answers, and smiles, and is the cutest thing ever. I could eat her for breakfast. You'd think now would be a good time for Dexter to shut the fuck up and enjoy the moment, but no. He just has to voice-over. "I've come to enjoy the comfortable moments with Rita. The easy, quiet moments. This? Might be better." Right. "Might be." Trust me, Dex. It's better. Jeez.

Over at the station, Deb is still watching the surveillance tapes as Angel comes in, dressed to the nines and wearing a zoot suit that actually looks pretty sharp. "Where's your brother?" he asks Deb, to which she replies, "I'm not his keeper." Heh. He pulls out yet another piece of jewelry and asks her opinion. It's a diamond-encrusted key necklace. "It's a key to my heart. You see, it's a key, that's also shaped like a heart. I'm not gonna take it back." "It's perfect, Angel. She'll love it," says Deb. The relief on his face is instant. "Really?" "I would." Aw, Deb. He asks her how he looks, and she responds with a couple of "Woo"s and "Mmm"s, and the whole scene is pretty damn cute. Angel's awesome, and I guess Deb can be, too, sometimes. It was nice of her to see what he was fishin' for and just give it to him.

Apparently at his own house, now, Angel shuts the door behind him as his wife comes out to see who it is. "Angel," she says suspiciously, leading me to believe there's more to this "anniversary" story than we initially thought. "Happy anniversary, baby." "You know you can't just walk in here, anymore." Oh, no. As instant as his relief was a minute ago, so is his heartbreak now. Oh, poor guy. "I just thought...our anniversary...maybe tonight, we could put all that behind us." "It doesn't matter what night it is. I told you I need time." "It's been three months, baby. How much time do you need?" Really! I mean, the guy obviously realizes that whatever he did was wrong; just forgive him, already! He's a good guy! Look at that face! "After what you did, Angel, I need as much time as I need." Must've been pretty bad. As he heads out the door, Nina stops him and asks him if he wants to see his daughter, whose name I can't understand and my closed captioning can't either, Time Warner. Ahem. So, Angel goes and kisses his daughter while she sleeps, and he mutters, "Lo siento, lo siento," over and over. I think he's sorry about something. His wife looks kind of sorry, too. And, although Julie Benz thinks that shows like Dexter don't tell you how to think, I think The American Beauty Piano Of Ultimate Emotional Manipulation would disagree. Angel takes the necklace he bought his wife and puts it on his daughter's lampshade, gets up, thanks his wife-ish, and leaves. Aw, poor Angel. What happened with them?

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Dexter

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