Dexter

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Dex..."

After a small VO about how he used to find the tractor noise and compressed garbage "soothing," we see him standing at the tree the next morning, the landfill replaced with new structures. "But it wasn't condos back then. This has to be the right place. So what am I missing?" He begins looking around for clues, and under a nearby bush, he sees a head. Dexter slowly walks over to the bush, and it turns out to just be a sleeping bum. His phone rings, and it's dispatch. He's been called to the McCaffrey Pumpkin Patch. He knows exactly where it is.

And...it's flashback time! Obviously at the pumpkin patch just mentioned, teenaged Dex 'n' Deb are with Harry on the flatbed of a hay ride truck. Deb and Dexter start having a hay fight, which looks...itchy, honestly. Harry tells them to stop hacking around, and some older dude offers to take a picture of all three of them. As they lean in for the picture, Harry says, "It's great to see you having such a great time, Dex." "Are you kidding me? This hay's giving me a total allergy attack and we're just going around in circles on a pumpkin patch. I don't get it." They all smile, but Harry's is the forced one this time.

Dexter arrives at the pumpkin patch, which is now a crime scene. LaGuerta informs him that it's "ankle to knee. He's moving up the leg." Uh oh. Doesn't sound so good for Mr. Tucci. As Dexter starts pulling out his investigative gear, Deb shows up, and LaGuerta's not amped to see her. "Unless you're toting a portable DVD player, you'd better be finished watching the security footage." Deb tells her she's on break, thus on her own time, thank you very much. LaGuerta reminds her that her shift starts in two hours, so she should head back to the station. Totally ignoring her, Deb goes over to Dexter and asks, "Hey, didn't Dad bring us here when we were kids?" "I don't remember. But she's right about the traffic." Frustrated, Deb takes off as Angel and Dexter examine the leg portion. Dexter notices that there's no sign of infection where the foot was cut off, "like he gave Tucci prophylactic antibiotics before amputating." "At least he's looking after his patient," says Angel before busting out a different gift he's gotten for his wife, a necklace with an "O" and an "X" on it, representing hugs and kisses for those of you who have spent your entire lives in a cave with your eyes shut and your hands over your ears. "Ox?" asks Dexter upon seeing it, once again making Angel totally second-guess himself. "No...fuck! Xs and Os." "Like tic-tac-toe?" "No, like hugs and kisses. Diamond-filled hugs and kisses...in a white-gold setting?" Aw, I love Angel. He's so insecure! But why is he so worried about this anniversary? His wife should understand, right? It's the thought that counts.

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Dexter

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