Dexter
Dexter

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B | 1816 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Darkly Dozing Dexter

Dex is all shirt-and-tied up because he's in court this morning, but he's looking the opposite of sharp. And he left his keys in the fridge. Out front, we see the new house is painted a shade of bright salmon only Tim Burton or Maria LaGuerta could love. He voices over how he's now playing the role of the perfect suburban father and husband, while next door, an actual perfect suburban father and husband horses around with his kids. Perfecto Dad -- Elliott -- works out a kid-watching arrangement with Rita as the rest of us file him under C for "Chekhov" and move on. "Carpools and swimming pools," Rita remarks as she hugs Dexter. "How much are we living the dream?" Dexter's "Soooo much," could be more convincing.

Actually living the dream is Deb, who, at the moment, is living the dream of her hot boyfriend going down on her. Anton's still got the scars on his back from when the Skinner was ... well, skinning him. He and Deb talk domestic -- they need to TiVo Jon Stewart, after all -- but when it comes time for another round in bed, Deb's late for work. Anton exposits that they've moved in together, and that he's about to go on tour with whatever band he's in that I kind of forgot about. Anton tells her she makes him happy, and Deb gets that look on her face. That "Oh shit, I got something good here, better get to fucking it up" look.

In court, Dexter's on the witness stand, answering questions from an attorney (Lisa Darr, the mom from Popular), and fumbling through his paperwork like someone who doesn't generally have a pathological tendency towards organization. Fatherhood really does change people. The way Popular Mom is rolling her eyes and sighing at this display, you'd think she was the prosecutor, but she's actually the defense attorney. When Dexter reads some lab results that don't sound right, P-Mom asks him to repeat, and he realizes he's reading from the wrong case file. Must've left the one for this case at home. In the gallery, Quinn lets out a disgusted sigh and stomps out, while P-Mom absolutely decimates Dexter's credibility, as a witness and investigator.

Dexter

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