Dexter
Dexter

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B | 1822 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Darkly Dozing Dexter

Dexter takes off and heads to ... his old apartment. Safe to assume he's not using it as a bachelor pad, but still. "The perfect husband would have gotten rid of his old apartment," Dex VOs. "But I kill people. Not exactly the perfect husband." I'd wager you still rank higher than Jon Gosselin, though. He fingers his slides (I'm not even sure if that's dirty or not) and tells them "someone new is moving in." He picks out a knife for the occasion, then off to the abandoned boxing arena. The ring is still set up in the middle of the floor, which doesn't seem quite right to me. Whoever used to run that promotion would have taken their ring with them, or sold it at least. But I'm quibbling, it's a nice locale for a murder. Dex outfits the entire ring in plastic, including a canopy over the ring. I always forget how much Dexter's murders are also like one-man-show community theater productions. Lots of stagecraft. Hours of thankless prep. No audience.

Next thing we know, Dexter's staking out in front of the dive bar. Gomez is inside, having a beer. Normally, it'd just be a matter of the waiting game, but exhausted Dexter closes his eyes for a moment and he's asleep. Fade to black. Fade up to a cop shining a light in Dexter's window. The cop finds it awfully suspicious that Dexter is sleeping alone in his car outside a bar. Oh, he's not alone! Dexter, tell him about your Dark Passenger! (Which reminds me, who doesn't think an "Ask Me About My Dark Passenger" bumper sticker would sell? Get on it, Showtime!) Dex plays the cop card when he hands over his license and registration, but the cop's a hardass and makes him recite his ABCs backwards anyway. As Dexter does so, he has to watch Gomez exit the bar and drive away. The cop grumpily sends him on his way, and since Dex can't exactly give Gomez chase with a cop right there, the evening's plans appear to be off.

Back home, Rita tells a downtrodden Dexter that the baby's asleep. Which means it's time for sex! Not quickie the-kids-are-asleep sex, but "slow, hot, naughty sex." Um, okay, but where are Cody and Astor? Here's a situation where an iPod with headphones would be pretty useful. Anyway, Dexter's about half-excited and half-wishing he could just go to sleep, but when Rita comes out with the feather whip and basket full of sexy treats, he knows it's on and seems pretty okay with it. And honestly, could YOU turn down Rita when she looks so happy to get to dip into the naughty basket? Even if it does look like it's full of Bath and Body Works shampoos more than anything else.

Dexter

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