Dexter

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B+ | 1863 USERS: B-
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Arthur Loves Toy Trains

Dexter moves to follow Arthur, thinking he's trying to shake him. But Arthur stops to read the sticker on the back of the car. The one that helpfully gives the names of each of the family members. American parents, this is where your pathological narcissism comes home to roost. So Arthur memorizes the names, then follows the family into an arcade. While DVO starts to get suspicious and wonders if Arthur hasn't fired up another cycle, Trinity embarks upon the oldest child-predator gambit in the book. He waits until Scott (the son) is playing a game by himself and tells him he's a police officer and that his parents ("Nick and Barb," thank you braggy decal!) have been in a car accident. This is such classic Stranger Danger, I half expect McGruff the Crime Dog to appear and take a bite out of crime.

Scott falls for it (the STUPID) and is led by the hand out to Trinity's van. Dexter scrambles to catch up with them, but by the time he realizes he's taken the boy, Arthur's already pulled out the chloroformed rag (man! It's like the greatest hits of child abduction tonight), knocked Scott out, thrown him in the back of the van, and pulled away. Dexter calls after Arthur just before he does, and Arthur sees him.

Okay, so Dexter blew that one. But how would he know Arthur was planning to buck his own pattern and target a young boy? He books to his car, where his phone is ringing. It's Arthur, who tells "Kyle" to back off. He says he'll "preserve the boy's innocence," but if Dexter calls the cops (which Dexter never would, not that Arthur knows that), all bets are off. "I have a process," he says. "As long as it's not interrupted, I'll set the boy free." Somehow, I'm not so reassured. Neither is Dexter. He's so unsettled, he conjures up Harry, who plays Captain Obvious ("he's gonna kill that boy") before settling into his usual guilt-tripping and blaming Dexter for everything. Dexter is still clinging to the idea that killing a boy isn't in Trinity's pattern.

Dexter speeds on over to the Mitchell homestead, where he finds Jonah home alone. Awww yeah. Oh, whatever, let me have my fun. Anyway, Dex is looking pretty unhinged as he barges on in. Jonah says his dad's on a two-day teaching retreat in Naples, so DVO surmises he won't kill the kid until tomorrow. There's still time. Dex checks the living room and sees that Vera's urn has been restored/replaced. Indeed, Jonah's still living at home too, Dex notes, and nothing much has changed from before the Thanksgiving near-massacre. Jonah says he can't well leave his sister and mother, but we sense there's some fear of leaving on Jonah's part, too. Dexter -- looking TOTALLY CRAZY by now -- grabs Jonah by his face and tries to convince him that he has an obligation to break his father's cycle of violence. And in this case, it means helping "Kyle" in various unspecified ways. "Help me, Jonah," Dexter says again, then dashes off into the night like a lunatic. It's a testament to how fucked up Life with Trinity must be that Jonah seems pretty unfazed by all that.

Dexter

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