Dexter

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Mr. Stupidhead: A | Grade It Now!
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Because I Could Not Stop For Dex, He Kindly Stopped For Me

Now having lunch with Dexter, Rita says how terrible she feels. "They were supposed to be married after he got here." Dexter suggests a guy who deals with immigration issues that he knows, and offers to talk to him. "That's really kind of you, Dex. I mean, can you imagine not knowing if your fiance is dead or alive?" "Ah, no," says Dexter earnestly. "Every night after work, Yilena goes across the street to the beach. I've seen her there, just staring out at the water, willing him to walk out of it." Dude, that is so ridiculously depressing. Of course, there's a shift in where this scene is headed when Rita continues, "Have you ever...longed for something like that?" He gives her the "Let-me-finish-chewing" finger, and VOs, "She wants something from me. Ever since the blowjob, she assumes we've taken it to the next level." Hee! You can tell by her face that that's true. "She doesn't know yet that I don't have a next level." He tells Rita that when he was a kid, he "would have killed" (probably) for an Atari. Rita's disappointment is palpable, which Dexter picks up on instantly: "It always comes to this once sex is introduced. Small talk no longer cuts it. Eventually, she'll call me a 'science project,' and slam the door in my face." I don't know, dude. That's really up to you, innit?

Deb is on the phone at the station, asking someone, presumably a doctor, when Tucci can be expected to regain consciousness. Having clearly received a shitty attitude on the other end of the line, she replies, "Yeah, I did call an hour ago, but there's a killer out there who's into whores and security guards, but I'll bet nurses are next." Hee! That totally reminded me of Jeanie Bueller when she's on the phone. "Dick. Head!" Anyway, speaking of whores, in walks one of Deb's old friends from her vice days (which were, what, like, a week ago?). "Check you out, all NYPD Blue." "Shanda, what are you doing here? You have a lead on the Ice Truck Killer?" Shanda tells her that she has bigger fish to fry. "I'm not springing your pimp, if that's what you're after," says Deb. Shanda tells her it's not that either, but it's her landlord that's giving her worries. Deb doesn't really care, and Doakes comes in and calls her over. He holds up an evidence bag with a cigarette butt in it, and tells her Masuka was about to run it. Deb is psyched about the potential DNA and fingerprints, but Doakes crushes her excitement by telling her it's her own cigarette butt. "You were smoking at a crime scene," he reprimands. She tries to say she was far away, but Doakes doesn't give a shit. "The whole area is a crime scene. You should know that by now, even if you are from Vice." Naturally, Shanda feels the need to step in, saying, "Why don't you just calm the hell down, my brother?" Doakes is not in the mood for this, and asks who the fuck she is. Deb tells her to "give it a rest," and Shanda slinks away, slightly pissed. Doakes commands Deb to go sit with Tucci until he wakes up. "And don't talk to him without me."

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Dexter

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