Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: A | 2 USERS: A-
New Directions

She arrives at her home to find a strange woman feeding Harrison a huge plate of sweets. She asks the lady who the fuck she is, which is confusing for her. She's the downstairs neighbor. Deb calls Dex and tells him that the cat lady from the downstairs was watching the baby. She's pissed. She leaves a voicemail for Dex telling him that he needs to talk to the FBI pronto.

Dexter is at the funeral home with Rita. He picked the dress that she was wearing when they met. Dex tells her dead body that he is a serial killer. Then, he starts packing. Part clothes-part killing stuff, including the blood slides. He VOs that he doesn't need the rest and sets it all on fire. Strange, most of it is metal, so don't know how well that's going to burn.

Next, Dexter is boating away to lovely Cuban music. Meanwhile, Deb is setting up Rita's funeral. She sees the FBI there. She calls Dexter but he doesn't answer. Dexter uses a Nokia phone. Root of all of his problems. He VOs that it's easier to breathe on the water. He remembers disposing of the body on his first date with Rita as he calls her. She tells him that she has children and he says that he likes kids. He suggests getting together again and she accepts the idea. She tells him that he makes her feel good. He says she makes him feel that way too, but who knows if he actually felt that way? Back on the today boat, he says goodbye to her and apologizes. Then, his boat stops.

Dexter finds some dump where a bearded redneck is demanding keys to the bathroom. Dexter looks at the dude and he calls Dex a retard and tells him to stop looking at him. Dex follows him to the bathroom. The guy is like what the fuck and Dex says that he's had a bad week and his wife died and it was his fault. The redneck says that his wife can suck his dick. Wrong answer. Dexter unfurls this sharp anchor thingy and kills the fuck out of this dude in a huge fury. Then, he walks to the mirror where he sees Harry, who tells him that was the first human thing he's ever seen Dexter do. Not sure if that's a compliment or not. Dexter says that he thought that Harry had left him. Then, Dex falls to the floor. Harry tells him that it's OK to express what he's feeling.

Dexter lets out this primal scream that's still inhibited by all of Dex's crazy. It's chilling. Huge and childish and soaked in sadness. Harry tells Dex that the people in his life are better with him and vice versa. Then, Dex collapses on the floor.

It's Rita's funeral and Dexter is still not there. Laguerta tells Batista that she is sorry for being nutso, only she thinks that Dexter may have been witness at their wedding while Rita was being killed. She doesn't want to be reminded of it.

Quinn tells Deb that he spoke to Elliot. Then, Dexter arrives as everyone is getting antsy. He takes Harrison from Rita's mother, otherwise known as Ellen Dalton Chandler from All My Children, one of the greatest performances in all of daytime television. Anyway, then, he apparently gives the kid to someone else and starts his eulogy. He says that Rita had the heart for both of them. She was innocent and never hurt anyone. She died a brutal death and he can't fix it, but he knows he has to try. He has to try to fix it around the people who loved her -- like he did. He just realized that.

Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at

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