Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 1 USERS: B
Stick a Fork In Him

So! Road trip. Dexter seems to be having a good enough time with Brian, although he'd probably be doing even better if Brian were in a position to split up the driving. We hear him leave a message for Deb saying he's going to need some more time to get his head on straight, but he'll be back in four days, five tops, and adds that he hopes "that hearing thing" goes well. And with that most seamless of exposition dropped on us like Nick's severed head, we cut to...

...that hearing thing, where Deb, in full uniform, is twisting some departmental statistics so hard the sound designers must have worked overtime to edit out their cries of pain. (Also, she knows PowerPoint?) LaGuerta is no fan of this, and makes her displeasure plain...

...and then afterward, Deb joins her in front of the elevator and points out that six of her unsolved murders happened on LaGuerta's watch. LaGuerta isn't as obviously out to get Deb as usual, and merely tells her that it's her first such hearing as Captain, and as such she has a duty to make sure the numbers are accurate. Instead of getting her back up in response, Deb sighs that her numbers are lousy, and LaGuerta takes the opportunity to say that she doesn't know what happened with her and Quinn, but she lost a relationship because of her job, "and I take great comfort in the pure objectivity of numbers. At [that hearing thing] there's no age, no gender, no feelings. Improve your numbers and everything will change, I promise you." It's not the greatest speech, especially given that the relationship she mentioned ended in the year through which the show fast-forwarded, but it is nice to see LaGuerta offer some genuine advice and feelings of shared status rather than the puerile bitchery we've seen from her this season. Deb, however, takes this as an admonition to catch DDK, and sure, it's probably that too.

Over another shot of Dexter driving, we hear Deb leaving a nervous message for Dexter, saying he can take today off, but he should please not take four, as she just got her head handed to her at that hearing thing, and she needs his help on DDK. Jesus, I get that he's a valuable member of her team, but as far as she knows he's dealing with some severely traumatic resurfacing memories, and he's not even a detective! Go bother any of the other people in the opening credits!

Dexter hits a convenience store for some nachos and a soda and sees a girl who looks about fourteen manning the register; however, given that she's on the phone talking explicitly about sex and also, as Dexter notes in slow-motion, keeps a firearm behind the counter, I guess we're supposed to think she's of some kind of age. At Brian's urging, Dexter starts talking to her in a rather lewd and uncharacteristic manner, but I guess we have to remember that he did date Lila for a while. Anyway, Dexter lets this girl know he's DTF, getting a sly smile in response...

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