Once Upon A Time…

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: C | 1 USERS: D+
And They Lived Stabbily Ever After

Masuka is instructing Ryan in the lab. She's turned on by all of the evidence and Masuka stares at her booty as she's looking over all of it. Angel walks by and tells Masuka to keep his hands to himself, otherwise they might get a sexual harassment charge. Masuka calls him Lieutenant Buzzkill. Angel likes the butt, too, though. Deb sees him and asks to take him for coffee.

Meanwhile, Quinn approaches Dexter and asks him if he's heard anything from Deb. He heard that he proposed and that the pancakes weren't bad. Small victories. He says that he knows he and Dexter have had their differences but it would mean a lot if Dexter would put in a good word for him. In what universe do you expect a guy who you essentially accused of murder to recommend that his sister marry you? You're barking up the wrong bloody tree. Quinn says that he doesn't want Deb to feel like she has to choose between the two of them. "She doesn't," replies Dexter as he walks away and VO's that it will never be Quinn.

Angel ultimately won't let Deb pay for the coffee. She tells him that she's the detective she is because of him and she thinks of him as family. He wants to know what she's talking about and she tells him not to look at her for a second. That's a classic Deb line and I love it. Looking away, she tells him that Matthews has asked her to be the new Lieutenant. He asks what she said and she says she told him that Angel should have the job but he wouldn't listen. She vows to tell Matthews to fuck himself if he says the word. He pauses, then smiles and says that he couldn't be happier for her. He says it's about time that there was a "real cop" in the job (Maria dig). Then, he jokes that he's going to need her to pay for coffee after all. He gives her a big hug and you know, of course, that he's not as happy as he says.

Later, he's leaving the station and Laguerta is following him. She just found out about Deb getting the job. He says that he was on the fence about the job in the first place. She tells him that the choice had nothing to do with him and Matthews is just using Deb to get back at Maria. She says that Deb is barely out of diapers and Angel stops her. He says that Deb is a good detective, better than Maria ever was. She says that she'll fix this and he tells her that it's over, but adds that, though Matthews hates Maria, he's always paying the price.

That night, Sam leaves his shop and Dexter follows him. Sam pulls up to a house and we hear an altercation inside. A gun goes off and we see Sam carry a guy out on his shoulders and put him in the trunk of his car. Dex seems excited that he'll get to kill him after all. Back at the shop, Sam pulls the guy out of the trunk and carries him inside. He says that he can't kill Sam until he knows that he killed that guy, but he carries a syringe of knockout juice just in case. He's sneaking up to the door when a junkyard dog starts barking like crazy and charging him. He's ready to inject the dog with the tranquilizer when Sam comes outside and calls the dog off. Dexter says that he forgot his garage door clicker in his glove compartment and was just going to grab that. He says that he'll come back later, but Sam tells him to do it now. So, Dexter assumes that he'll be killing him, because he's thinking that Sam's probably going to try to kill him. Monster's Ball. But, the guy from the trunk is having a cigarette and sitting on a car. Not dead. Sam tells him to get off the car and the guy says that he can't believe Sam hit him. Well, Sam can't believe that he took a shot at him. Gunshot explained. Dexter is confused. The guy takes the dog in the back and Dexter deduces that he was the missing worker. Sam tells a Bible story about a shepherd breaking the leg of a lamb to keep it from wandering off. That's what he feels like he's doing. The worker is on drugs and Sam is trying to keep his flock. He tells Dexter to get his clicker and he mimics grabbing something out of his glove compartment. He's contemplating via VO how this is proof that maybe people can change when some people drive up. Sam says this isn't good and tells Dexter to stand back.

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