Dexter

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Mr. Stupidhead: A | Grade It Now!
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Downs's Syndrome

And now we're with Nursey O'Killigan (or that's what I'm calling her, because IMDb is just calling her "Harry's nurse," which...boring), and I assume we're flashing back to Dexter's "taking out" of her proverbial "garbage." She's just gotten home from a rough day of poisoning already-sick people, and starts calling out for her cat, Mr. Tinker. Quite crazed-looking, she says, "Are you trapped behind the couch again, Mr. Tinker-stinker." Um, gross. As she approaches her living room, Dexter VOs, "The nurse was my first playmate. I'll always be grateful to her for opening up so many magnificent new doors." I'll bet, dude. She opens the door to her living room, which is completely coated in plastic wrap, and Dexter flails in behind her, holding his syringe. His technique is clearly not refined yet, that's for sure. Suddenly, he darts at her, and she slaps the needle away, and they wrestle awkwardly for a while, and it's hilarious. Finally, Dexter pins her and punches her the face, which I assume knocks her out. "Things were a bit rough in the beginning," he VOs, "but hey, perfecting a craft takes time." Yeah, Rome wasn't drugged, Saran-Wrapped, and slaughtered in a day. Later, when she wakes up, Dexter is reading her scrapbook of all of her kills at the hospital. "Are all of your victims in here?" She tries to say something, but her mouth is stuffed, so he goes over to her. He holds a knife up to her neck and says, "Scream and lose a tongue." "A" tongue? How many does she have? Anyway, he removes her gag, and she says, "I helped them, all of them. I took their pain away." Then Dexter says it's her turn to have her pain taken away, and it's pretty bad-ass. Like, he should totally be smoking a cigar and holding a double-barrelled shotgun with a button down shirt open to his navel and a grenade necklace on, saying "Merry Christmas, fuck-face." You know, or something. Anyway, he starts stabbing away, and the Foley guys really had a field day on this scene, because the splattering and gushing noises are pretty gruesome. And awesome.

Dexter VOs as his stabbing gives way to Deb cheerily pushing Harry around in a wheelchair: "It was messier than I expected, but still a special day. But of course, it was really Harry who paved the way to my salvation. With the nurse put down, Harry lived another year before hardening arteries squeezed the last bit of life from him. But his lessons have never failed me." Then, as Doakes heads out to his car at the station: "Harry taught me that death isn't the end. It's the beginning of a chain reaction that will catch you if you're not careful." This last part is spoken as one of Guerrero's henchmen holds up a clown mask and shoots it with a finger gun as Doakes looks on. A slow-motion shot of LaGuerta eating at a local restaurant, "getting to know the locals," prompts Dexter to say, "He taught me that none of us are who we appear to be on the outside, but we must maintain appearances to survive." Now we're with Rita, watering her symbolic lemon tree in gorgeous slow motion (I'm telling you, HD, dude), as Dex continues, "But there was something Harry didn't teach me. Something he didn't know, couldn't possibly know." As we watch the kids sitting at their lemonade stand: "The willful taking of life represents the ultimate disconnect from humanity. It leaves you an outsider, forever looking in, searching for company to keep." Dexter then rolls up in Rita's driveway in a totally pimped-out...I don't even know what, but it's a convertible with a tinted windshield, huge rims, plush velour seats, and a huge Jesus painted on the hood. I totally want it. "Neat ride!" says Cody. "Is it yours?" "No, it's yours! Until your mom can get a new one." Then, to Rita, "I borrowed it from impound, right before auction." Rita is all smiles, amazed at his generosity, and she and kids climb in for a test drive, as Dex VOs, "All you can do is play along in life, and hope that sometimes you get it right." After seeing all of their relieved faces, and as Cody plays with the fuzzy animal-print dice hanging from the rearview: "Score one for the little wooden boy." That's right, Dex. You done good, my man. But really? Enough of this "outsider" crap. I just don't buy it. Just because you're a serial killer does not necessarily mean you are as disconnected from humanity as your...peers? Is that the right word? I mean, just remember who it is you've been killing. You're aaaaall right, kiddo.

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Dexter

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