Dexter

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Mr. Stupidhead: A | Grade It Now!
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Man On The Run

As he's heading towards the elevators, Dexter hears a familiar voice laughing behind him. He stops dead in his tracks and wheels around to see Lila chatting it up with Angel and Masuka and a few other cops. Oh, that goddamn fucking bitch-ass donkey-raping twat! Bravo, Lila, well played! Not! Dexter's clearly none too psyched to see her lemony face, and he wears a strained smile as he approaches Angel's desk. "Ah, look who's come out of his cave!" she says, pointing right at Dexter's face. "Lila, what are you doing here?" he asks genially. "She came to see me, bro," offers Angel. "Angel mentioned that he needed a decorator, and, well, a slot just came up, so I gave him a call!" Oh, boy, this is trouble! "I've always wanted a decorator," says Angel, and Dex grabs him by the shoulder and leads him away for a quick word. "She's not really a decorator," says Dex. "It's not really my apartment that I want decorated," says Angel with a wink. Lila comes up and puts her arms around the pair, and says, "So, hey, the boys here have persuaded me to go for a drink." "Or ten," says Angel. "Should I be worried?" she says with a laugh. "Yes, you should," says Dex, beaming hatred right into her stupid face. She laughs, unfazed, and says, "Then maybe you should come with us! Because who knows what secrets will start pouring out of me once the drinks start flowing!" Dexter follows everyone into the elevator, knowing full well that if he doesn't keep a close eye on Lila, she may reveal some things about him that he'd probably rather the boys not know. "I have to get to Jimenez," he VOs. "But a dead man tells no tales. A drunk, unstable woman very well may." Good call, bro.

Out at the bar, Lila's telling some filthy joke, but since we're thrown into it in medias res, I have no idea what the punchline is supposed to mean. Regardless, everyone laughs, except for Dexter, who's eyeing her purposefully. Masuka starts to tell a joke himself, but Angel stops him. "What? It's a good one!" "Knowing you, it'll be inappropriate in front of a lady." "She just did a goat-fucker joke!" Awkward. After a pause, Lila pinches Angel's face, saying, "Aw, you're such a protector, Angel!" "I do my best," he replies, doing his best to pointedly flirt with her. "Mmm, like that time you came to Dexter's rescue at the bowling alley." Oh, fuck! "You just ran right towards that mugger with no thought for your own personal safety!" "It's my job," says Angel. Dexter's shooting darts with his eyes. "It's mine, too," says Vince. "No it's not." Heh. "Don't do it, Lila," VOs Dex, his hatred palpable. "Don't bring Jimenez up." "Did they, uh, ever catch that guy?" she asks, as though she read his mind. Angel wonders if Dex ever filed a report: "I'm sure I could look into it." "I'm sure he's long gone by now," says Dex, hinting to Lila that if she doesn't shut her fucking yapper, he'll dispose of her as he did Jimenez. Getting the hint, Lila heads to the "loo." "'The loo.' How cute is that?" says Angel.

Dexter follows Lila to the bathroom, and once inside, he creeps up behind her and bludgeons her with a shoe. I wish! Instead, he says, "What the hell do you want?" "I'm concerned. Usually, when someone quits their sponsor, it means they're using again." "You can quit the sponsor bullshit, I'm done with it. And you. Did I not make that clear last night?" A woman tries to come in to the bathroom, but Dexter shuts the door in her face, saying, "It's out of order." Lila turns to face him, and says, "There's still work we can do together." "No, there isn't. I am who I am, and I don't want you coming anywhere near me or my addiction, do you understand?" "Oh, I understand...how lonely you are." "Stop --" "Those friends of yours out there, they don't even know you. They just see the mask, but I see it all. I can see how upset you are." Dex, who's had his hands over his face, drops them, revealing a stony glare. "Oh, really?" "No, there's more than just me that's eating at you. There's something else. You don't have to handle it alone! I can help!" She tries touching his face, but he shoves her hands away. "I know how heavy that mask is, how tiring. I'm the only one who can see behind it, and it doesn't scare me. It's like looking in the mirror. It's why we belong together." No way, bitch. Just then, the door opens and a bouncer comes in. "Hey, asshole! It's ladies only." "My mistake," says Dex. "He giving you trouble?" the bouncer asks Lila. "A little, but I know he'll see I'm right." Yeah, whatever. Bye!

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Dexter

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