Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B- | Grade It Now!
"Dex Smiles At Us All; All A Man Can Do Is Smile Back."

Dexter's eyes, darting back and forth, bring us to yet another VO: "No hair, no fibers, COD far, so good." Ah, he's reading the report on Valerie Castillo's body, with Masuka right over his shoulder. "You're hovering." "Keep reading." "What am I even looking..." "Wait for it!" "This is a prelim, I don't..." "M-fucking-99!," says Masuka, pointing at the sheet. Apparently, "M99" is another word for Etorphine Hydrochloride, which is, I think, what Dexter uses to drug his victims. Now, a simple Google search has revealed to me that this stuff, also called Immobilon, is an opiate that is mostly used to immobilize large game animals, such as elephants, and that one drop of this stuff on the skin can cause a human to die within a minute. However, it turns out that diprenorphine, or M5050, can be used as an antidote to M99, completely reversing its effects. I've never seen Dexter use an antidote to reawaken his victims, and it certainly seems that it would take more than a minute to get them wrapped up in plastic as he does, which is way more time than a human would have to live with M99 in their bloodstream. I suppose it's possible that Dexter is using a highly diluted version. Anyway, Masuka says that the little puncture on Valerie's neck was bugging him, so he decided to run a tox screen, and that's what came back. "That's it," Dex VOs. "No more doughnuts for Masuka." Masuka continues that the only way to get M99 is with a D.E.A. license. "I put a request in for the list. I should have for Doakes by the morning." "Nice," Dexter says, trying to keep his cool. As Masuka leaves, all proud of himself, the voiceover comes back: "I'm on that list, and eventually the alias I used will lead them back to me. Tick tock." Wow, dude. That's pretty heavy. Dexter's cell rings, and it's Rita. She tells him, "Paul called after you left." "Who's Paul?" "My soon-to-be ex. He's already out of jail. 'Overcrowding,' can you believe it?" It seems that Paul wants to come to Astor's birthday party. "What'd you tell him?" asks Dexter. Rita: "That I'd have to think about it. But even if I said no, he wouldn't listen. He never does." She asks if he can come over tonight, but he mentions that he's "under the gun at work. Big case." She apologizes for dumping all of this crap on him, and he says he'll come over if he can. Boring.

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