Dexter

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Mr. Stupidhead: B- | Grade It Now!
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"Dex Smiles At Us All; All A Man Can Do Is Smile Back."

Now it's nighttime, and Doakes is in the car with Deb. He pulls over and cuts the engine. "What's this?" asks Deb. "You've been askin' who's been callin'. My mom lives here." "You forget your laundry?" says Deb, holding back giggles. Doakes says that she's been on him to stop by for dinner, "so I'm stoppin' by. Now, here's the plan: we go in, we eat, we out before the cheesecake." "I'm what, you're exit strategy?" "You can sit out here, giving me an even better excuse to leave, or you can come get some free food. Now, come on." Doakes gets out as Deb lets out a frustrated sigh, which...really? Just go eat some fucking dinner! Is that really so bad? Jesus H. Carpenter. Doakes jumps back after looking through the house's window. "Shit, my sisters are here too." After sharing a glance, Deb says, "Fuckin' family reunion!" Shut up, Deb.

Obviously a bit later, Deb is recounting a story from her days playing a hooker for vice to Doakes's mom and sisters. At one point, it seems, some "john" had her in a stranglehold, and as she was about to reach for her gun, she noticed he had a nipple ring. "I ripped that fucker out like it was a grenade pin!" As everyone erupts into laughter, Doakes reprimands her for her dinner table banter. Immediately, his sisters all start giving him shit for being hypocritical by denying he has "cop mouth." "Please, the first words out of my brother's mouth were 'Got milk, motherfucker?'" Hee! The matriarch says, "That's enough, all of you." Another of James's sisters wonders aloud if the security guard is going to be alright, and Deb replies affirmatively. "Yeah, Tony's doing okay. The hospital's setting him up with some prosthetics, and...he's just got this spirit about him. The guy's missing body parts because of this Ice Truck Killer asshole, and he's still hitting on me." They all laugh, and Mama Doakes chimes in that "that's because men only think with one body part." Like, ha ha, Mom. Never heard that before. Oh, who am I kidding? It's totally true. Always has been, always will be. James, uncomfortable, motions to leave. "Come on, Morgan, let's go." Mama Doakes mentions the cheesecake she has in the fridge, and Deb, trying to piss James off, says, "You know, I would love some cheesecake. You can wait in the car, that's your call!" Aaaand...Doakes is five years old again. He sits and pouts as Deb helps the other girls clear the table.

Watching Cody and Astor color a purple banner, presumably for Astor's birthday, Dexter wonders to himself and us, "I wonder, in time, if they'll even remember me, other than The Man Who Broke Their Mother's Heart." Cody turns around and smiles widely at him. "I'll be breaking their hearts, too." Rita wonders aloud, "He is their father, they have a right to know he's been released, right?" Snapping out it, Dexter replies, "Yeah. Sure." Rita's really flipping out over this Paul situation. She's been so happy recently, with things going so well at work and with Dexter. "I don't know what to do." "He's really got a hold on you, doesn't he?" "Yeah. Paul always had a temper, but when he was using...he said if I left, he would find us and hurt the kids. Somehow, I thought that by staying, I was protecting them." Sucks, dude. Shitty situation. I would totally move far the fuck away and change my name and everything. Ditch the shit out of him. "Cody doesn't remember the worst of it, but Astor...she was the one who called the police the last time." Man. I knew she was a good kid. "She was protecting me." "You're not that woman anymore," says Dex. "You're stronger now. If they're dad shows up, we'll deal with it together." Rita sighs appreciatively, but apparently Cody heard the tail end of the conversation. "Dad's coming home?" he asks excitedly, and after a pregnant pause, Astor runs to her room, and Rita follows, concerned. Cody follows Rita, wondering if Paul can sleep in his room, and Dexter VOs, "I shouldn't even be here. Rita will be devastated if I'm arrested. Her husband was a crackhead and her boyfriend is a serial killer. It's kind of hard not to take that personally." Yeah, word. Better not get caught, son!

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Dexter

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