Dexter

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Mr. Stupidhead: B- | Grade It Now!
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"Dex Smiles At Us All; All A Man Can Do Is Smile Back."

Flashback. "Where's your sister?" Harry asks Teen Dex. Turns out she's outside shooting cans with one of Harry's handguns. "Debra! What the hell do you think you're doing?" He asks her. As he unloads the gun after snatching it from her, he asks, "How did you get into my cabinet?" "You had the key in the pantry." Harry gives her shit, and she retorts, "I was being really careful. I was only shooting at bottles and cans [just clap your hands], and I'm really good like Dexter. Now we can all go hunting together!" Harry isn't having any of that shit, and tells her how disappointed he is in her. "Grab your things," he says and leads her back home. "Thanks a lot," she says to Dex as she passes him. Sound familiar, dude? Yeah, she can be such a baby sometimes.

At a briefing, Doakes is telling the team that cadets are "going over every inch of the salvage yard." Angel comments that he doesn't miss those days. Doakes goes on to reveal that LaGuerta is bringing in the kid to attempt a sketch.

Outside, the social worker is trying to get the kid out of the back of her car, to little avail. LaGuerta comes out, and as soon as the kid sees her, he jumps out. "Normally I wouldn't approve of something like this," says the social worker. "But you've make quite an impression." The boy grips LaGuerta's hand tightly. "You have kids?" asks the woman, and LaGuerta replies that she does not, and goes on to explain that she was once like him, "a stranger in a strange land. All for a better life." Oh, no. Come on, show. Not like that. Don't make me sympathize with her! Damn it. "Well, Lieutenant, I'd say you've done okay." Yeah, I guess. Can we end this, please? No such luck. "Any luck with the family?" asks LaGuerta. "No. He talks about an Uncle Roberto. He just uses a first name." "Maybe we'll have some luck on our end." Yeah, maybe. That's great. Now, can we please get to this kid doing a sketch or whatever? I'm trying to find out what's going to happen with Dexter, okay? Do you mind? "I hope so," says the social worker lady. Ugh! "I'd hate to send another one of these kids into foster care." Yeah, I'll bet, now get out of here! Oh, I'm sorry. Not before LaGuerta gives you a really understanding look, clearly to demonstrate that there's more to her than meets the eye. C'mooooon! Hurry up!

After three weeks of LaGuerta's stupid face, we're back inside with Doakes, who's still talking as Dexter blankly stares ahead. "We're going to follow up on the list of M99 buyers," says Doakes. Phew! Good thing you erased your a.k.a. from that list, there, Dex. I'm still unclear how they would have traced it back to him, but why risk it, am I right, or am I right? Right? Right? "Masuka, what do we have on the home and the boat?" "Uh, still processing, sir." "If it turns out the husband's a dead end, then we're looking at a new suspect, folks. Morgan, any ideas?" he asks Deb. Deb looks at Dexter reproachfully, and Dexter VOs, "Don't do it, Deb. The last thing I need right now is to be profiled for all of Miami Metro." Deb, unable to hear Dexter's inner monologue and now equally motivated by spite as she is ambition, decides to air her copycat theory. As soon as she begins, however, Dex sees LaGuerta bringing the child in and decides to bolt before the kid sees his face and fingers him (ew) on the spot.

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Dexter

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