Dexter

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B- | 1 USERS: A+
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Remorse of a Different Color

Dex tears out a hardware store ad from the yellow pages, but he's met at his door by an effusive Arthur (his mood has picked up quite considerably now that he knows Dexter killed someone), who says he's got a surprise excursion for them tomorrow, as opposed to going to the build. Dexter doesn't like surprises and says so, but Arthur, practically hopping up and down, assures him he'll like this one. Dex shuts the door and exhales annoyedly. DVO whines a bit about whether the surprise will be a magical cure for remorse (there's a theme of REMORSE in this episode???) and then decides killing Arthur tomorrow night would be just as well.

Back at the station, Angel and LaGuerta crunch the numbers, unsuccessfully, and try to keep from staring at one another, also unsuccessfully. But hey, it's late, and they're the only ones still at the station, and is that mandolin music I hear on the soundtrack? I think we all know what that means. Sadly, their epic Stare of Longing and Imminent Lovemaking is interrupted by stupid Quinn, who is druuuunk. He was at the bar with "the guys" who all decided they would donate one vacation day to help finance catching Trinity. Oh, man, the union head is NOT gonna like that one. Angel and LaGuerta are thrilled, though, as this should fund the whole operation. They're even happier when Quinn stumbles his drunk ass out again. They hug over their good fortune, the sexy mandolins return, and pretty soon it is ON. And by "on," I mean "on top of the table in the conference room." I knew Amanda Woodward returning to television would have positive repercussions!

Later, Quinn's still drunk when Christine wakes him up with a knock on his door. Get this: She says her editor is breathing down her neck for a "lead that bleeds," and if she doesn't come up with one...what, I guess she's fired? I can't decide whether Quinn doesn't immediately see through this because he's drunk or because he's stupid. Like, he knows she's trying to take advantage of him, I guess, but then he lets her talk him into "giving [her] support," which in this case means hugging her while she cases his apartment for something she can use. Something like the DNA-sampling protocols. Another red flag he fails to spot: Christine turns down sex and hightails it outta there once she's gotten her lead. I don't care how drunk and/or dumb he is, you're not turning that down unless you have an agenda.

The next morning, Dexter's on his way to the meteorology conference (if order to establish an alibi), but he's shanghai'd by Arthur in the parking lot. Turnabout being fair play and all. Arthur is disturbingly excited for whatever surprise he has in store for Dexter. So much so that he does this spazzy little dance, which I believe is half a Charleston and half that Puff Daddy dance from the late '90s. Either way, Arthur, you can kill as many people as you want, just never do that again. Dexter seems similarly unnerved and wonders if Arthur's "mask is crumbling." I think we've long since established Arthur's more bipolar tendencies, yes?

Back at the station, Deb is once again nudging Quinn in the direction of competent police work, but this time he gets his back up about being used as Deb's "tool." Too many ways to take that joke, I'll let y'all choose your own adventure. Deb's like, "Yeah, I'm using you to make you look good, but I wouldn't want you to feel like a tool." She finally gets Quinn to quit crying and ask Masuka for access to Dexter's crime scene photos from the Tarla Grant "suicide." Here again I totally expected this to turn into Quinn finding something incriminating in Dexter's work space. Masuka's busy supervising the assemblage of DNA kits. He and Quinn get to talking shop which, because it's them, quickly turns into talking about nailing chicks. Specifically the chicks one could nail at the kind of "geekfest" Dexter's at. Masuka assures Quinn the tail is plentiful. Quinn's like, "For you, sure, but Poin-Dexter?" I'm...I'm trying...is Quinn actually floating the notion that Dexter is somehow less fuckable than Masuka? I guess this is how we know that Quinn has officially gone off the deep end into a Doakes-like, Dexter-hating psychosis. Anyway, Masuka sticks up for Dex in his own way, which means bragging about the time when Dex was nailing Lila on the side. "That chick was crazy. Literally. I could tell you stories." Jesus, Masuka, that shit was bad enough the first time around. No mas.

At home, Rita's feeding baby Harrison when Elliott returns with the kids. They all caught fish, so everyone's happy. Even Astor, which means somewhere in heaven, an angel is crying. Rita says they can eat the fish once Dexter gets home, since that's his kind of thing. But Elliott interjects himself -- innocently or not is up to you -- and says he can easily gut a fish, and while Rita is reticent, they make de facto dinner plans with the kids. So now we know what all that hinting about Elliott and his breakup from last week was leading to.

In Tampa, Arthur pulls the van up in front of a house; Dexter's confused. Arthur bounds up the steps and rings the bell about eight times. The older Asian man who answers isn't interested in what Art's selling, but Arthur presses on with that manic look on his face. "I grew up here," he explains, before pushing past the owner and his wife and bounding up the stairs. Dex follows, all awkward-like (he bows to the owners -- awesome). Once upstairs, Dex sees Arthur has stalled at the bathroom door, all the energy of a moment ago now gone. He explains, as Dexter leads him slowly inside, that this is where it all started, for him; this is where his sister died. He explains how his 10-year-old self was standing in the doorway, watching his sister shower ("it was innocent," he stresses), and she saw him and slipped, falling through the shower door. "The glass sliced her leg," Arthur recalls, as we all connect the dots to the sliced femoral artery in the bathtub killings. DVO relates to Arthur, as they were both "born in blood," metaphorically.

Arthur goes on to recount how his parents blamed him for Vera's death. Mother eventually killed herself, while his dad became an even more abusive drunk. "Little pervert fucking cunt, you killed them," he spits, dipping into the Tourette's-like state he was in as he ramped up to his bludgeoning a few weeks back. DVO deduces that Arthur was the one who killed his dad. Coming somewhat back to his senses, Arthur tells Dexter he never told anyone this. The look on his face says it may have been freeing. He says he told it to Dexter so he'd know he's not alone. So right now, you've got two serial killers having this odd breakthrough of "honesty" by outing themselves as accidentally responsible for the death of an "innocent." I wonder if Arthur has found a way to think of his victims as guilty like Dexter has. Arthur asks Dex if he feels better, but the house's owners show up to say they've called the police, and Arthur and Dexter skedaddle before Dex can answer.

The cute coffee-van boy notices Debra loading her coffee up with sugar, which Deb cutely owns. That half a second of good feeling is interrupted by Christine, who is sniffing around Deb for a story. She lays down the bait, mentioning the DNA roadblocks, but Deb's too smart for that. She stonewalls as best she can. Rather hilariously, Christine tries to play the "my editor's breathing down my neck" card, which I'm not sure works on cops whose dick isn't about to be in your mouth. Deb tells her not to go with the story, lest she embarrass herself. But then she shows too many of her cards by agreeing to the interview Christine's been after. This seems to be the better option for Christine, so she jumps on it.

Dexter and Arthur hit up a diner for lunch. That diner happens to be right next door to the meteorology convention, which gives Dex a chance to hop on over and establish his alibi. Serendipitously, he does so by snapping a pic with the very Sonny Skies of Debra's discontent. Sadly, Dex does not take the opportunity to tell him he has a stupid fucking name. He sends the pic to Ri

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Dexter

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