Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | Grade It Now!
A Deb'll Do Ya

"Last question: According to your ex-husband, you left town with your boyfriend last weekend." That's not really a question, judge (or whatever you are), but I'll allow it. "That's right," says Rita, Dexter sitting next to her. "His father died." The woman asks Rita if FOP got his scheduled visitation with the kids, and Rita replies that she said she'd make it up to him. "So, then, he gave you permission?" "No...I'm the one that gave him visitation in the first place. I'm the custodial parent, I didn't have to do that." Theo Huxtable asks for a moment with his client, which he's granted. He asks Rita why she didn't tell him she broke the visitation agreement, and she says she didn't know it was relevant. Theo calls an end to the interrogation, and the judge (?) says anything she missed should be covered in the psych evaluation next week. Rita looks dismayed, because she hadn't heard about that. Theo explains that it's mandatory, as it determines whether or not a competency hearing is necessary. "But Paul's the ex-con!" "It's standard, Rita, you should be fine." "Should be?" asks Dex. "You mean she could actually lose this?" "Guys," says Theo, "I'm handcuffed here. You violated a custody agreement, you struck your ex-husband in your bedroom...He has a case."

Back at Rita's house, FOP is just arriving home with the kids and the court supervisor. Astor shows Rita her henna tattoo. "How much candy have you had?" asks Rita. "Lots," responds Astor. "Thanks," Rita says to FOP. "Now she'll never get to sleep." "She'll come down, soon. This one's already crashed," he says, referring to Cody, who's passed out in his arms. Cody, who's woken up from all the talking, asks Rita if FOP can read him a story. Rita reluctantly agrees. The court officer, Betty, offers to help get the kids ready for bed. "You have twenty minutes left," she says, and follows the kids to the bedroom. "Hey, Rita," says FOP, as he taps her shoulder. "It doesn't have to be this way. I mean, we can make this easier on each other, right? I can drop the charges if you agree to unsupervised visitation." "Fuck you," says Rita, and she means it. She goes into the kids' bedroom. FOP, looking irritated and silly in his head bandage, walks into the kitchen where Dexter is washing dishes. "Hey, Dexy," he says, clearly trying to antagonize Dexter. "You know, I don't think your girlfriend appreciates the gravity of the situation. If she loses that case, she could lose the kids." "That won't happen," says Dexter quietly, trying to keep his temper in check. "Never say won't," the FOP goes on. "We live in a world of wills. Wills and wonders, that's what I'm trying to teach my children. And they are my children, too, something she seems to forget." He's getting more belligerent, now. He talks about how he's made his mistakes, but that he's sober now. "Look, no needle marks! I've got the fucking Alaskan pipeline running through these veins, all because of those two little glowsticks of love in the next room." The soundtrack is getting ominous, and FOP approaches Dexter, who's still doing dishes. He whispers, "My heart beats for those two kids, so if you, or that skinny bitch, try to screw with what's mine, I swear to God, I don't care who I have to hurt --" Dexter reaches for a big frying pan on the stove, and swings it around. As we shift to Paul's perspective, the frying pan hits home, and with a large, clangy thud, we go to black after briefly watching Dexter's rage boil on his face. After a split second, we're back to Dexter's POV, watching FOP fall to the ground, already unconscious. Okay, that? Was awesome. God, I've been waiting for that to happen for what, five episodes now? Dexter just stands there with an Oh, Shit face on, as some more cheery music starts up on the soundtrack, and he VOs, "Harry's first rule was 'Don't get emotionally involved.' I think this is why." Yeah, you're in a dilly of a pickle. He hears Rita tell Astor to go brush her teeth, and he snaps out of it, and jumps to action. He goes over to Paul, and carries him out to his car, where he shoves him into the trunk. He VOs, "Someone once said, 'It's easier dealing with other people's problems than your own.' They were wrong." Dexter puts the car in neutral (it's an old Chrysler that doesn't need to be turned on to shift), and shoves it up the block a ways, so that Rita and Betty won't see it, and he runs back to the house.

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