Dexter

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Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | Grade It Now!
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A Deb'll Do Ya

We flash to Paul, I'm assuming the night before, lying in bed with a tourniquet on and a needle sticking out of his arm, the police knocking on his door. "Paul did need to go away, but death wasn't the answer," Dexter continues as we see shots of a heroin-coated spoon and Paul's six-shooter laying like a little card that says, "Please arrest me! I hate freedom oh so much!" "Life in prison will do just fine," Dexter continues as two officers bust open the door and arrest the FOP. I guess from now on, he'll actually be the Father In Prison, or FIP. "For now, at least, the code of Harry remains unbroken." This is true. Fair enough. Back in Rita's house, she tells Dexter to come over to her and the kids. "You're part of this family, too!" Aw, that's fucking special. Dexter picks up Cody and touches Astor on the face, and they look like an actual happy family.

Angel parks his car in a garage, and gets out. He gathers a couple grocery bags from the back seat, and is instantly being held up at knife-point. Being a cop, he wants to fight, so he throws his head back and slams his assailant in the mouth while at the same time getting stabbed in the side. A car alarm starts going off. Angel fumbles for his gun, but it slips out of his hands because his wound is already restricting his range of motion. The assailant, dressed all in black with a ski mask on, gets back up, presumably to finish the job, but two guys enter the garage, see what's going on, and chase him off. Angel's bleeding pretty profusely, and the guys stay with him as one of them calls 911. Things get pretty blurry as the camera switches to Angel's perspective. I hope he's going to be okay. You think Rudy freaked out after his questioning earlier, and decided to do away with him? Pretty sloppy, if that's the case. Not what I'd expect from the Ice Truck Killer. He must be approaching some sort of endgame to act so anxiously.

"I heard they're dropping Ice Truck murder charges on Neil Perry," Deb says to Doakes at the station. "Yeah, I'm sure he'll be filing a lawsuit any minute now," Doakes replies. "More shit for us to deal with." Doakes asks if things are still rocky with Rudy, and Deb tells him that she's not calling him until he apologizes, which...Deb, shut up. Let it go! Doakes says, "Good for you, Morgan." He tells her that if she doesn't have plans tonight, Masuka's invited everyone to go to the dance club they were at the other night, the Belle Canto. As he's sort of asking Deb out, the elevator opens behind him and Rudy emerges carrying a huge thing of white roses. Gag. Doakes turns around without another word, obviously a little humiliated and follows Rudy with his big-ass eyes. "For you," says Rudy. "Too late, you blew it." "I didn't blow it, it's the first chance I've had to talk." "I'm too tired to talk." Jesus, she's so difficult. They go back and forth about Dexter and whatnot, which is boring. Rudy just wants to go back and fall into bed, but Deb isn't biting. "You didn't want to fall into bed the other night!" "I was confused." "Well, I'm not confused, that's the problem. I know what I want --" "I was confused because I love you." "...is very simple and uncomplicated. What did you say?" "I love you." He kisses her, and she says, "Fuck. I love you, too," and it would all be super-squishy mega-happy kittens and free stickers if it were real, but it's not, and I'm not saying Deb deserves to have a serial killer boyfriend, because that shit will fuck you up for life, but honestly, she's a cop, and she should have figured it out by now. Actually, same goes for Dexter, but I like him. They kiss again, but this time Rudy recoils because his lip hurts from when Angel head slammed him just a minute ago. He lies and says it's because he juiced with one of his tools at the workshop, but we all know what the fuck is happening. "Well, let's get you home and take care of it," says Deb.

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Dexter

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