Dexter

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Mr. Stupidhead: B | Grade It Now!
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The Opposite Dex

A sanitation truck is rolling by outside the BHB morgue just as Dexter scales the fence and VOs, "I've broken in to my own place of employment, but desperate times..." Dexter makes his way over to the refrigeration unit, which is right behind a small dumpster on wheels. He kicks the main coil, breaking it, and a bunch of green coolant comes pouring out. "Garbage men can be so careless," he VOs as he shoves the dumpster over to make it look as though it knocked the fridge unit. Nice moves, Dex.

"I say put this Bay Harbor Butcher on the city payroll," says a talking head on a TV at the gym. "Give him a corner office, a company car, and all the ammunition he needs. At least somebody is doing something to clean up Miami, which is more than I can say for those folks down at city hall." Deb is doing some military presses, which are hard as hell. If she's doing any more than thirty pounds per arm, I'm mega-impressed. Gabe walks in, and Deb does the Hey, What's Up, We Totally Boned But I Don't Know That Much About You And I'm Kind Of Embarrassed About The Desperate Way I Acted Last Night, So Please Be Kind wave. "Hey, Debra," he says with a smile. "Hi. Sorry about last night." "Don't be. Maybe we can, uh, do it again?" "How would you feel about a real date?" she asks. "You know, with clothes on." "Oh, where we actually talk and get to know each other?" "Yeah, yeah, something like that." He says it sounds good to him, and asks if Saturday's good, and it's on. They shake on it, awkwardly, but both giggle to show the other person they're aware of how awkward it is. Deb smiles her big, toothy smile, and I'll admit it: I'm happy for her.

LaGuerta's in bed watching TV, where some more news folk are talking more about the BHB. A hand reaches up from behind her holding a remote, and shuts off the tube. "This is the last time," says LaGuerta. Wait a fucking second, here. Who the...what...who the fuck is in bed with her? Oh, no! No! "Bertrand?" "Babe," says Pascal's fiancé, sitting up. Oh, for fuck's sake. Now I have to care about this? Ugh. He tries to convince her that she doesn't mean it, but she says that she does. "I can't see you anymore." He tells her that "she's gone, it's over with. Now we can finally be out in the open!" He starts kissing her, but she pushes him off, telling him to stop: "Go back to Esme." "So, what, this is how it is? You get your job back, and now you're through with me?" God, I fucking hope so. I'm so very tired of this storyline. "Don't play the victim," she says. "You knew what this was from the beginning." "You are one cold-hearted bitch, I'll tell you that," he says, clearly pretty pissed. "No, you don't get to tell me anything! I'm not the piece of shit fucking another woman behind his fiancé's back. Don't try and judge me, asshole." Bertrand puts his clothes on quickly and quietly. LaGuerta sits back on the side of the bed, and says through tears, "You don't know the first thing about me." I do wonder when all this began, though.

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Dexter

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