Dexter

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: A- | 1312 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
"The goal of all life is Dex."

Out at his car, the VO continues: "I don't want Rita to go, which means I have to deal with this." Just talk to your therapist! Oh, yeah, you might not trust him anymore. "I can't kill Meridian yet! I need another therapy session." Ha! Okay, that's pretty funny, you have to admit.

Hey, it's Rudy! He's polishing some prosthetic foot or something, and Deb comes in wearing a "cool" shirt. Shut up, Deb. I don't know what's with my animosity towards her recently. Sorry if it seems unjust. It is what it is. "Careful, I'm armed!" puns Rudy lamely, holding up the fake arm. Deb at least gets points for calling him out on using bad puns. They smooch, because they're in lurve. "You said you needed a favor. What's up?" Deb asks. "Take off your pants." Hmm, wow. No, it's not that kind of favor, you pervs! Rudy has a patient who lost both of her legs in a car accident (like his mother), and he wants to "do something special for her." At first, Deb protests, but ProDoc yanks off her pants and tells her to "stop being such a chick," and she obeys. He starts slathering her legs in Vaseline, which the Foley guys had a field day with, and Deb seems to enjoy the attention. She asks if she can make a prosthetic out of his cock. "That'd be a hell of a story to tell the bullpen, huh?" "The bullpen"? Really? Who says that? Anyway, Deb mentions that she hasn't told anyone about their seeing each other yet, he asks why, she says something about not wanting to lose him, blah blah blah. It's really boring and lame, and if the show didn't spend so much time on them, I probably wouldn't think that he's the...you know what? Never mind.

Doakes spots Deb coming out of the elevator at the station, and asks her where she's been. "With my boyfriend!" "Your boyfriend?" "Yeah. We just fucked in his office!" she says loudly enough for everyone to hear. "And tonight, we're going out for dinner." Yeah, because we're all so scandalized by people eating food. Shut up, Deb! God. She's really annoying me.

In LaGuerta's office, Doakes wants to know if she wanted to see him. "Yeah. Shut the door. Did you tell anyone about our bust? The one that got me promoted?" "No." "Nobody in the press?" "Maria, we talked about this when it happened. It would fuck up your rep and make me look like a whiny bitch, which is bad for both of us." Maria asks if the only way to gain access to that information is through reading the police report, and Doakes says yes. "We need to have our firewall checked."

Dexter

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