Dexter

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: A- | 1305 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
"The goal of all life is Dex."

Now going for a jog, Dexter sees Scott Soloman bringing some groceries in from his car. A casaba melon rolls off the top of one of his bags onto the ground, and it looks like it'd be a hassle for him to pick it up with his arms full. "I got it," yells Dexter, and he helps him out. "Hey, I know you," he continues, acting surprised. "Monday night at Meridian's. You're always leaving your seven o'clock when I'm arriving for my eight. You missed last week, right?" "No, no, I was there. I don't remember ever seeing you, though," he replies, clearly happy with what he sees standing in front of him. David Fisher replies, "How do you like him?" "Best thing that's ever happened to me...so far," if you catch his drift, and he's really hoping Dexter does. "How 'bout you? You finding him helpful?" "Nah, I'm a sociopath. Not much he can do for me." Soloman giggles at this. "Cute and funny. Let me guess -- taken?" "Girlfriend," Dav-- er, Dexter replies. Disappointed, Scott instantly becomes frosty and thanks Dexter for his help with the melon. Dex continues his jog and his VO: "So Meridian has an alibi for the time of death. My sexual hang-ups and control issues aside, I need a follow-up appointment...to dig a little deeper. Isn't that what therapy's all about?" Yes, but I have a feeling you're twisting that a little bit.

Whoa! Somebody's having a good old-fashioned skin session! It's Deb and Rudy, and Deb seems to be coming uncontrollably, which is awesome! They're both doused in sweat and rolling around. Good times. After what seems like an eon of their love-making, Rudy comments on how much he loves her body. "I love your legs. I love your arms. I couldn't have made 'em better myself." I get it. Because of the prosthetics. Good one, broheem. Deb is crying, and ProDoc wants to know what's up. "I don't know," Deb replies. "I'm sure this is really hot, crying after sex." Hey, I'm sure there's an entire Japanese fetish site devoted to it somewhere. She goes on: "Every time I've ever been naked with someone, we just fuck." "But not this time?" "It's different. I hate saying this...it feels so cheesy." "It feels like making love." Ew. "Ew." Hee! "Yes. Promise me you won't say that again?" Yeah, yeah, okay, great. We get it. You guys aRe boning and all psyched aboUt each other, but this is just the honeymoon phase. One of you is bounD to eventuallY go all crazy on the other one, and It's juSt going To end in a mess witH onE of you dead. Mark my words, people. As much as I don't love thIs scene, iT's there for a reason, oKay? Figure it out.

Dexter

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