...where it's pouring rain, and Rudy the Prosthesis Doctor and Deb are just pulling up to...well, we don't know yet, but they're in his Beamer, and they start making out pretty fiercely once he's got the thing in park. "I gotta go, there's a dead body in that house," says Deb, leading me to believe they're at the crime scene. "There's a hot body in here," say ProDoc hornily. Deb expresses her desire to "maul" him, and he expresses his desire to let her. "Call me when you're done, okay?" "I'll bring handcuffs." Oh, barf. I mean, "good for them." A couple more smooches, and Deb books.
"Morgan! What took you so long?" Doakes bitches as Deb reaches the front porch. "Playing hide-the-salami with Mr. Prosthetics?" adds Masuka. "I don't fucking tell!" Since when? "Since when?" says Doakes. "Can we go inside? I'm kind of wet." Masuka: "..." "Don't!" Heh. Actually, Doakes would rather she canvas the neighborhood to learn about the married couple's relationship. "It's always the husband, right?" asks Deb. "Well, it looks like a suicide, but you never can tell." "I'm on it," says Deb, and Doakes goes back inside. Dexter, who just arrived for the tail end of the conversation, asks, "Doakes is sending you away from a crime scene in the pouring rain, and you're not putting up a fight?" "I'm a team player!" "You are?" "Fuck you!" she says, already back out in the rain. I guess ProDoc has been working wonders on her demeanor. She seems happy for a change.
FOP opens the door at Rita's place to find Dexter closing his umbrella. "Oh, hey Dex, come on in." Huh? What the fuck is he doing there? Maybe it's one of the supervised visits he and Rita worked out last episode. It seems that the FOP has forgotten last week's exchange with Dexter, because his attitude now is downright friendly. Dexter enters, carrying a tray of what is probably hot cocoa and wearing a confused face. He asks where Rita is. "Stuck in traffic. Power's out in half the city. I love the extra kid time, but the court supervisor?" He points back to a lady playing solitaire. "Not so much." Dexter looks slightly relieved at her presence, but still on guard. FOP tells Dex that he's really sorry about what happened the last time they saw each other, but "what are you supposed to say to the guy who's effin' your wife while you're in jail?" I don't know, how 'bout not saying anything at all, dickhead? Dexter looks annoyed, but Rita makes a timely entrance, apologizing for her lateness. The court chaperone leaves right away, because she has kids of her own to look after, leaving the dysfunctional family to themselves. After a pregnant pause, Dexter announces that he brought hot chocolate, but Cody tells him that "Dad already made us some, with extra marshmallows!" Dexter immediately grabs his knife kit and slashes FOP's throat. Actually, he doesn't. Astor does. What? No, I'm kidding. Rita, showing solidarity with Dexter, takes one of the cocoas that Dexter brought. "Take two, looks like he's got extra," brags FOP pathetically while he wrestles with a sugar-hyped Cody. Dexter beams hatred at him, and then Cody begs Rita for FOP to stay and tuck them in to bed. Rita says that's why Dexter's there, but in the interest of peace-keeping, Dex says he doesn't mind. "Only a song, and no story. It's way past your bedtime," says Rita. "All right, bedbugs. Let's leave these two alone," says Paul. "It's not like they need a chaperone." Good one, asshole. Way to wear your jealousy like a badge.
"Meghan Dowd, Carolyn Jillian and now Vanessa Gayle," VOs Dex as he looks at pictures of the three apparent suicides. "All three powerful women. All three shot themselves in the past two years. They've got to have more in common than career ambition and a fondness for firearms." LaGuerta is now right up behind Dexter, and she whispers sultrily, "Why the sudden interest in suicides?" "Morbid curiosity," he responds. "What can I do for you?" "So many things," she says. Ew, dude. Knock it off. You're foul. She actually needs the blood spatter report for Vanessa Gayle, which Dexter says is inconclusive except that it proves she was shot at close range. "I wish there was more I could do for you." "Mmm, me too." Jesus! Inappropriate! Astor pokes his head in, and tells LaGuerta the DA wants the paperwork for the ITK. "When did you see the DA?" Astor says he had dinner with the mayor last night to celebrate the arrest, and takes off. LaGuerta says, "Hijo de puta," and bitches to Dexter that she should be having dinner with the mayor, seeing as it was she who coerced the confession from Perry. Dexter tells her not to worry, "Matthews will be the one with egg on his face, soon enough." Ah, interesting point. I'm glad you brought that up, Dexter. Turns out the guy I've been referring to as "Captain Astor" is indeed now "Captain Matthews," for no good reason other than there were two Astors on the show. IMDb still lists him as "Captain Tom Astor," but he's the Matthews they keep referring to. Just thought I'd clarify that (good eye, Joe R). "You still believe we've got the wrong guy?" He responds that he thinks Perry is "just a pretender to the throne. The real king is still out there." "Or, the Ice Truck Killer will use Perry as a get-out-of-jail-free card." "You really think that might happen?" LaGuerta: "If Perry's the wrong guy, and I let him take the fall? Definitely." She thanks him for the report and leaves Dexter looking worried. "What if LaGuerta's right?" he VOs. "What if the Ice Truck Killer does disappear?" He opens a drawer and pulls out the doll head from his fridge door. "No. He's got unfinished business with me. Still, I can't just sit on my hands, waiting for something to happen. I need a distraction." A most unsavory one, I hope! He gets back to the paperwork on the alleged suicides, saying aloud, "Talk to me, ladies! What do you have in common? Same sorority? Pilates instructor?" His finger lands on the therapist line. Dr. Emmett Meridian, let's see what light you can shed.