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Dexter

Episode Report Card

Jeff Long: A | 1343 USERS: C+

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Get Thee to an Owenery

By Jeff Long | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 2010.11.14

In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

The episode begins with a Jordan Chase seminar that Dexter happens to be attending. Even he thinks that all of the other attendees are freaks. He's scoping out Cole Harmon while he's there. Meanwhile, LaGuerta is getting a lot of press heat for the Santa Muerta disaster at Club Mayan. She freaks out in the station about how there are going to be consequences for the absolutely stupid actions at the club stakeout. Deb finds out that she doesn't feel bad about killing Carlos Fuentes, which disturbs her.

Dexter checks in with Lumen, who can't figure out how Boyd, Cole, Dan the Dentist, etc. knew each other. Cole approaches Dex, because Jordan wants to talk with him. Spooky. Jordan tells him that he knows about Rita's murder. He asks if he can discuss Dexter's loss with him at length. And, then, we find out that he also knows Harrison's name. Thin ice, Chase.

LaGuerta tells Deb that Manzon is going to get punished for the botched stakeout and Deb freaks. She reminds LaGuerta that she was the one who took over and recommends that they all stick together. Lumen gets a call from Owen, the guy that she left at the altar. Dude seems super-sweet. He asks to see her, and she struggles and says that she'll meet him the next day.

Deb has to meet with a shrink because of taking the rap for the Santa Muerte shiz. She tells Dex that she doesn't feel bad about killing Fuentes, which totally blows his lizard brain. He tells her that some people deserve to die. Oh my God, Owen is so sweet, which must/maybe means he's crazy and evil or something. No, not evil. He bought them around-the-world tickets to explore the world together, but she clearly feels so different from him now. He says that he'll wait for her to give him an answer the next night. LaGuerta goes on the news saying that Deb was in charge of the stakeout, which obviously upsets her.

RoboCop lets/makes Lumen run into his car and demands her personal information. She meets Dexter at the hotel where Cole and Jordan are staying. She tells Dex about meeting with Owen, then helps him set up the room for the Cole kill. Deb RIPS into LaGuerta about turning Batista into a eunuch.

After setting up the room, Lumen deduces that Dexter has done this before. Cole come to his room and starts having loud, maybe violent, sex with a lady in the room next door. The screams disturb Lumen, and Dexter takes an out-of-character interest in helping her avoid the pain. RoboCop tells Quinn that Lumen arrived in town one month before Rita was killed. He threatens to tell Deb about the investigation if he doesn't give him more money.

Dex gets called out when he's trying to sneak out of Chase's seminar to kill Cole. He manipulates Dex into reliving the night when Rita was killed. Lumen sees a closed circuit screening of Dexter talking about that night. It's pretty fantastic. Cole finds Lumen in the lobby and she starts to run away from him. So, she goes to her hotel room and she's safe UNTIL Cole freaking breaks through the connecting door of their rooms, making me scream in front of my roommate, and starts strangling her. Dex saves her and then goes through his whole killing ritual with Lumen right there. She seems to jive with all of it, making Dex feel like he's finally found someone to make him feel whole.

Deb finds out that it was Manzon, not Batista, who corroborated LaGuerta's bogus story about Deb. In fact, Batista tells her that he will do anything to help her. Dexter talks with Jordan before he leaves the hotel. He's giving him some advice and says the "Tick, tick -- this is your life running out" thing. Then, RoboCop takes pictures of Dexter and Lumen throwing Cole's body off of his boat. SERIOUSLY. This shit was good. And, poor Owen was left waiting. Lumen didn't show. I have my passport on me right now, if he'd like to transfer those tickets.

Want more? The full recap starts right below!

Previously: Laguerta's showboating caused the deaths of innocent people at Club Mayan. Liddy is extorting money from Quinn to find out who Lumen is. Jordan Chase's assistant, Cole (one of Lumen's captors), tried to hide all of the dead girl bodies, but had a wreck instead and spilled them all over the road. Dexter found a picture in his house of Boyd, Cole and Dan the dentist when they were all teens. They have no idea what it means.

We open with black and white footage of animals killing other animals. Nature is disgusting. The voiceover is from Jordan Chase. I believe this is the first time Dexter's voice isn't the first thing we've heard at the open. So, Jordan explains that nature has it right. They follow their instincts, but now we have skyscrapers instead of trees and we apparently don't electrocute blonde girls in our basements on a frequent basis as is our primal urge. But, Jordan says we'll be delivered. It's time to eff our stupid jobs and our stupid spouses and follow our instincts. The crowd of mostly men cheers deliriously around Dexter, who is watching uncomfortably. He says he can't remember being around so many people who made him seem normal. While that realization seems a little too world-aware for Dexter, um, true dat. These people are scary. This show has made me wary of Hawaiian shirts as it is, but this seminar is dotted with chubby hysterical dudes wearing them and now I'm terrified. Jordan has apparently branded the powers of risk, desire and instinct, for the crowd shouts "Take It!" and fist pumps after he says each of them.

This seminar is especially helpful in allowing Dexter to segue when he sees Cole Harmon. He VOs that instincts are all that he's ever had and now it's time for him to tap into his own primal urge. Cole is so dead, y'all.

Meanwhile, LaGuerta is swarmed by reporters when she arrives at the station and she's not her usual press monger self. They ask her if she believes that Miami Metro Homicide are responsible for the shootings. No comment. Does she agree with the Mayor that the operation put many innocent people at risk? No comment. Has she personally retained counsel? What the?! The reporter says that the victims' families are filing a civil suit. Ouch, LG. Things just got real. She pushes through the reporters.

Inside, she asks Batista if they've gotten a report from ballistics. They have and it's good news. The bullets from the innocent victims were from the guns of the Fuentes brothers, not the police. LaGuerta seems relieved, but she says that this isn't over. She's upset after hearing about the Mayor's criticisms of the department. Quinn says it's a good example of how shit rolls downhill. Batista says that he should have kept his mouth shut until he knew all of the facts. LaGuerta, who really seems on the verge of tears, says that the Mayor is right. The operation was responsible for the deaths of innocent people. Deb, who is suspiciously calm, says that the bullets were not from their guns, but LaGuerta says that shots would never have been fired if they hadn't been set up there. Batista says the upside is that one of the Fuentes brothers is dead. OK, she's actually crying, I think. She says that none of them should have any illusions -- there will be consequences for the botched operation. Jesus, that woman takes NO responsibility for herself, does she? While, frankly, I've missed her ruthlessness a little, it kind of pisses me off when mixed with this overly emotional bullshit. I'd like to think she was a little more self-aware than this. But, maybe she's just a survivor and her ruthlessness is just an instinct. Uh oh, we're talking about stinky ins again. She stomps into her office and Deb looks way over it.