Dexter
Talk To The Hand

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C+ | 1 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
Talk To The Hand, Because The Face Is Unconscious

Cut to Greene in his apartment that night tracing some lines on the Ice Truck Killer hand (no idea what that's about, but I'm sure it will become clear), packing it up in a box, and writing Dexter's name on it. Not sure what that's about either, but we already knew Greene was a weirdo.

Dexter arrives in the courtyard of, we'll learn, Colin Hanks's museum with a statue of an angel atop a fountain. With a plastic bag holding EJO's hand dangling from his mouth (ew), he climbs up (and given that a golf cart with some security just drove by, I'm sure it's a reliable time for him to pull this off uninterrupted, particularly since he's nailing shit into the statue)...

...and fade to the morning, where the angel is now covered with a blood-like substance, the numerical mark of the Devil written on her forehead and EJO's hand nailed into her chest. I'm no expert on religion, Dexter, but that one's going to get you in trouble upstairs. The St. Paul Metro team is on hand, and DVO gloats that the hand will decompose quickly now that it's in the sun. I know it's been on ice, but still, is the medical team not going to be able to judge nearly how old the hand is? Even if they don't know it's three years old, even a few months would be enough to signal that they've been going about this all wrong. Regardless, when Masuka descends the ladder with the news that the hand belongs to EJO (he can do a DNA test on the fly, apparently), everyone blames Colin Hanks, which I suppose is reasonable given that they also think he killed Doomsday_Adam, and Batista supposes that Colin Hanks is so crazy that he's gone off book as far as the tableaus go. Deb suggests they try to turn up the rest of EJO's body, and DVO smugly says that's not likely, as he left EJO in pieces in the swamp. Seriously, the way Dexter gloats at his constant impeding of his co-workers' job is not a particularly attractive quality. Dexter sees the press and some gawkers gathering, and DVO says now all Colin Hanks needs to know is where to go...

...and then Colin Hanks's painting is interrupted by, once again, the TV, but the part that's great is where the reporter cautions the viewer that the images are very graphic with the bloody angel in the background. Gotta love the local news. Colin Hanks is all "No. NO!" about Dexter's tableau when, if you think about it, it affects him not one bit, but then Colin Hanks gets a video message from Dexter intoning for the Witness to mark this day, as the end is not upon the world but upon him. In the background, you can see the Slice Of Life, name clearly visible, of which Colin Hanks duly takes note. He then looks at the painting of Satan, and, as very dramatic music plays, he hops on the ladder and gets to work, and when he's done, we see he's put Dexter's visage atop Satan's body. And the music can tell me this is creepy and disturbing all it wants -- I can't hear it anyway over my own laughter. HA HA HA HA HA! The Dexmaster! The Prince Of Dexness! Hilarious.

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Dexter

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