Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: A | Grade It Now!
I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Let Me Investigate Your Brother

Later, in his car, he tells Lumen over the phone that there were about a dozen security guards standing around. He says that he'll still be able to get to the blood vial pendant while Jordan is in the shower. He'll extract a small amount and run it for DNA. Lumen says that she loves that he can do things like run shit for DNA. We do too, Lumen. Dexter thinks it might be blood from one of his victims. At the very least, it's important to him since he wears it around his neck like a trophy.

Casual blood talk is over. Lumen sees a shadow at the backdoor. Someone is trying to break it. Dexter tells her to leave through the front door and he'll be there in a few minutes. Good idea except someone is trying to get into the front door too. He tells her to hide. "Where?" she asks. OK, Lumen, I understand things have been rough, but it's time to start fostering some survival skills. You're seriously a train wreck. Dexter tells her to go to the bathroom, obviously, and says that he will get there as soon as he can. On her way, she grabs a knife. Step in the right direction, Lumy.

She goes into the bathroom and leaves the door ajar so that she can see out. The people have gained access to the house. They're coming to the bathroom. Dexter tells her to put the phone down but don't hang up. They get closer. She raises the knife. The door opens. The light comes on. Screams. A liquor bottle drops to the floor and breaks. It's ASTOR and a friend. "Who the fuck are you?" asks Astor. "Who the fuck are you?!" asks Lumen.

Cut to everyone, including Dexter, in the kitchen. Astor still wants to know who the fuck Lumen is. Dexter says that Lumen is a renter. Hmm. That's gonna be hard to sell, but you do what you gotta do, says the relatively mild-mannered writer/hoofer to the serial killer. Astor's not buying it. Her friend snaps at Astor that she said the house was empty and Astor, so snarly and horribly teenaged in behavior, says that there was no way she could have known that Dexter would get a girlfriend so soon. Ouch. Dexter would just like to know who Astor's friend is. The girl answers that she's Olivia and she lives near Astor's grandparents. Dex asks how they got there and Astor says a taxi. Dexter points out that it's 250 miles from Orlando and Astor spit-chuckles and says, "From the bus station." Oh shit, this girl is asking for it. Then, Dexter asks where they got liquor and reminds Astor that she's only 12. Wow. I'm almost inclined to believe she'll be all Julie Taylor by the time she's 15, what with the way that pendulums and gravity work and all that. Either that, or she'll knock off a 7-11. Olivia is surprised at Astor's age, because she told her she was 14. Olivia says that the liquor came from her mom's liquor cabinet, then says that she needs to sit down. It's actually a little reassuring to know that these girls aren't that great at playing drunk. Her mother thinks that she's at Astor's grandparents and vice versa. Astor asks/demands/shames Dexter to not call her grandparents -- at least not until the next day. Lumen agrees that they should stay the night to sober up. Dexter says that he will stay too. "With her?" asks Astor, but before she can get an answer, she has to run to the restroom. Lumen takes Olivia to bed and goes to help Astor as well.

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