Dexter

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: A- | 2067 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Flaming The Cabin

Dexter's alarm goes off the following morning, and the theme song kicks in. As he pulls his white shirt over his head, just like in the opening credit sequence, he VOs, "Sleep! What a concept!" As he runs on the treadmill, he continues: "I can't believe I actually contemplated turning myself in!" Eye drops, tooth-brushing. "This is so much better than a prison cell." Well, a lot of things are. Shaving macro. Orange macro. "I can squeeze fresh orange juice, savor a fine French Roast." Meat-cutting macro. Sizzling butter macro. Egg macro. "Grab a morning workout. Okay, working out I could have done in prison, but still." Tomato macro. "I'm free!" Dexter leaves his apartment, wearing the same thing he does in the credit sequence. That was a nice little self-aware nod to the viewers. Ding!

Outside Rita's window, Dexter knocks a couple of times and pokes his head in. "Dexter?" she says, curiously. "Sorry, hope I didn't scare you." "What are you doing out there?" she asks, confused and concerned. "Well, I figured the kids are still asleep. I didn't want to ring the bell." "Why are you here?" "Well, I figured the kids are still asleep..." Mischief! They both smile at one another, and some Latin music comes in on the soundtrack. Next thing we know, they're boning and giggling in bed. As Dexter rolls back in post-coital bliss, Rita says, "That was unexpected." "Well, I wound up with some unexpected time on my hands." "Like twenty years to life," he VOs. "I don't know if this is a good idea, Dexter. I was just getting used to you from a distance." "I know, you've been like a mirage." "I've been right here. You're the one that went away." "Yeah, I did. I forgot who I was. I've got it straight now." "Well, keep it straight, or I won't be here next time." "I know that." Glad we got that straight, guys. Keep it up! "Mom?" yells Cody. Dexter hides under the covers as Astor and Cody both enter the bedroom. "How come you're still in bed?" asks Astor. Rita says she overslept, and Cody asks if she'll make pancakes for breakfast. "What's under there?" asks Astor, noticing Dexter's obvious lump under the covers. "Um..." says Rita, smiling. Cody pokes the lump, and Dexter groans and pokes his head out. Everyone is happy to see him, and they all share a laugh. Astor asks if they're back together, and Rita says yes, and everybody's happy. Aw.

Dexter

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