Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | 3 USERS: A+
Flaming The Cabin

I should think so: Lila's just hacked the lock off the door. When she enters the cabin, Doakes tells her there's a light switch right behind her on the wall. She flicks it on. "Goddamn, it's good to see another face," says Doakes, sounding pretty tired. "I never thought I would." Lila looks stunned by her surroundings, and looks around as Doakes announces who he is, and that he works for Miami Metro Homicide. "Who put you in theah?" she asks him. "Fuckin' psycho," he replies, "and he could be back any minute. Grab that key, right behind you on the wall." Lila does so as she asks, "Who is he?" Doakes, wanting her to hurry up, hastily answers, "His name is Dexter Morgan. I need you to open this gate!" Lila moves slowly, trying to figure out what exactly is going on here. "Why would he do that? Put you in theah?" "Because I found out that he's the fuckin' Bay Harbor Butcher. Please, just open this fucking gate!" As soon as the words "Bay Harbor Butcher" escape his mouth, Lila puts her hand up to her mouth as though she's going to be sick. "He's...the...Butchah?" she asks in disbelief. "That's what I've been trying to tell you." Lila spies the plastic bags on the floor, and asks, "What's in theah?" "Exactly what you think it is. It's evidence, and I saw it happen. I really need to get out of this cage, lady." "Poor thing, all alone," she says in sympathy. "I'm okay," says Doakes, appreciating the warm sentiment. "Just open the gate." "Not you," she corrects, "Dextah!" Doakes can't fuckin' believe this. I'm not having too much trouble, however. "Hiding such an enormous secret," she continues. "What a burden that's got to be. No wonder he is so shut down!" "What are you, his accomplice?" Lila thinks about the best way to phrase it, and she finally just comes out with it: "I'm his soul-mate." Lila smiles at Doakes, who is definitely not smiling back, and she drops the keys pointedly outside the cage, just out of his reach. She walks away from the cage, and Doakes shouts, "You can't leave me in here like this!"

Lila's over in the kitchen area, and she lights the stovetop as Doakes tells her that she'll be an accessory if she leaves without him. "I'm not gonna leave you. Not like that." Oh, what the fuck, dude! This is going to "What the fuck are you doin'?" he asks as Lila opens the valve on the gas lead into the place. Doakes immediately starts yelling and freaking out, telling her, "Do you understand this is murder! Open this fuckin' door!" Lila reaches the front door, and wheels around, glancing at Doakes one last time. "This is fuckin' murder!" he screams, but she just makes a whatever face, and takes off. When she shuts the door, Doakes immediately falls to the ground and reaches his arm out under the cage and grabs the key. He busts out of the cage as we get a shot of the gas lead pumping invisible death into the place, pumping up the intensity. As soon as he gets out, he runs straight to the front door, which Lila has barricaded with the same axe she used to get in. When he realizes he can't get out, he runs back to the burner in slow-motion, clearly hoping to shut the flame before the inevitable happens. As he runs, he mouths one word, clearly distinguishable even if you don't read lips: "Muthafucka." As soon as he reaches the burner, the gas catches, and we're treated to the sight of Doakes getting completely engulfed and blasted all to hell. Lila watches from afar as the cabin goes up, and she looks awestruck. Fucking twat.

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