Dexter

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | 3 USERS: A+
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Flaming The Cabin

Later, Deb, Lundy, Adams, and Matthews are all standing around a table that has some of Dexter's instruments on it. "These are the same kind of tools that scuba class found," says Deb. "He'd need them to make cuts that clean," says Lundy, motioning with his head to the dismembered body parts of Chris Harlow. "Those come from the suspect?" asks Matthews idiotically. "No, they belong to a second body," says Lundy, going on to say that the body was dead and chopped before the explosion. "So, this is where the Butcher did his dirty work?" says Adams. Way to go, man! Way to catch on. Fool. "It's a perfect location for a kill room," says Matthews. "Doesn't get any more remote than this." "No, it couldn't," confirms Lundy. Adams voices his approval of the situation, but says, "We keep the search on until we have a firm ID on the body in the water." Adams and Matthews walk away, and Deb asks Lundy if he agrees with them. "The evidence is compelling. Overwhelming, actually." "I guess we got our man," says Deb. "Oh, shit, LaGuerta's here." LaGuerta is indeed there, and she's blank-facedly following the EMTs who are carrying what's left of Doakes away on a gurney. Dexter grabs her arm and stops her, saying, "Lieutenant! I wouldn't...if I were you." "Is it James?" "They don't know yet." Dex VOs, "Apparently miracles are subjective. I can't exactly feel LaGuerta's pain, but I can appreciate it. Doakes wasn't so bad in the end, but the truly tragic thing would be to let his sacrifice go to waste. There's only one way I can think of to honor him. I have to embrace my freedom." As long as by "embrace my freedom" you mean "kill that beeyotch Lila," I'm with you, bro. Get to it.

Dexter's alarm goes off the following morning, and the theme song kicks in. As he pulls his white shirt over his head, just like in the opening credit sequence, he VOs, "Sleep! What a concept!" As he runs on the treadmill, he continues: "I can't believe I actually contemplated turning myself in!" Eye drops, tooth-brushing. "This is so much better than a prison cell." Well, a lot of things are. Shaving macro. Orange macro. "I can squeeze fresh orange juice, savor a fine French Roast." Meat-cutting macro. Sizzling butter macro. Egg macro. "Grab a morning workout. Okay, working out I could have done in prison, but still." Tomato macro. "I'm free!" Dexter leaves his apartment, wearing the same thing he does in the credit sequence. That was a nice little self-aware nod to the viewers. Ding!

Outside Rita's window, Dexter knocks a couple of times and pokes his head in. "Dexter?" she says, curiously. "Sorry, hope I didn't scare you." "What are you doing out there?" she asks, confused and concerned. "Well, I figured the kids are still asleep. I didn't want to ring the bell." "Why are you here?" "Well, I figured the kids are still asleep..." Mischief! They both smile at one another, and some Latin music comes in on the soundtrack. Next thing we know, they're boning and giggling in bed. As Dexter rolls back in post-coital bliss, Rita says, "That was unexpected." "Well, I wound up with some unexpected time on my hands." "Like twenty years to life," he VOs. "I don't know if this is a good idea, Dexter. I was just getting used to you from a distance." "I know, you've been like a mirage." "I've been right here. You're the one that went away." "Yeah, I did. I forgot who I was. I've got it straight now." "Well, keep it straight, or I won't be here next time." "I know that." Glad we got that straight, guys. Keep it up! "Mom?" yells Cody. Dexter hides under the covers as Astor and Cody both enter the bedroom. "How come you're still in bed?" asks Astor. Rita says she overslept, and Cody asks if she'll make pancakes for breakfast. "What's under there?" asks Astor, noticing Dexter's obvious lump under the covers. "Um..." says Rita, smiling. Cody pokes the lump, and Dexter groans and pokes his head out. Everyone is happy to see him, and they all share a laugh. Astor asks if they're back together, and Rita says yes, and everybody's happy. Aw.

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Dexter

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