The next morning, Dexter is making waffles for Cody and Astor. He tells them that a waffle is like a pancake, but square. Astor asks why it's square and he says that the waffle was invented by Simon P. Waffle who liked to stack his waffles in boxes, which is easier to do with something that's square. Cody, perplexed, decides that Dexter made that up. Shit, I bought the whole thing. I wonder if anyone I know is a serial killer, cause I'm gullible. Dexter tells Cody that he is hurt that he would even think that he would tell an untruth.
Here comes Rita and she's on the pregnancy warpath. She shrills that he's making a mess and he says that he will clean it up. She says that isn't the point and he leans over to Astor and says through his teeth, "What is the point?" "I don't know," she responds. Well, let Rita tell you. She says the point is to not make a mess in the first place. He VO's that Rita's "pregnancy hormones" are ganging up on them this morning. She freaks out that there are no English muffins in the place, so Dexter offers her a waffle. Waffles disgust her. She rubs Cody's head then tells him that he needs a haircut. Dexter VO's that it will be "4, 5, 6 months until she delivers." Seriously, there are 9 months in the gestation period -- how long does it take you to remember a due date, obsessive forensics expert? He asks Rita if she is OK and she says that she isn't -- she's starting a new job and she's planning a wedding by herself. In our current economy, maybe she should just be glad that she has a job at all.
So, Dexter asks what he can do to help. This doesn't make things better. She says that he can't pick the DJ, because the last time she got into his car, the radio was tuned to marching music. Hmm. Makes him seem a little like a traditional fascist, no? He says that the music helps him think. She says he also can't pick out the florist, the caterer, or the wedding bands. Please tell me what wedding needs both a DJ and a wedding band. Holy shit, I swear that I was not kidding about that. I seriously heard "wedding bands" as musical groups who play at weddings, not rings. And, how big an affair is this going to be? You're already knocked up. Order some hot wings from down the street, lay down a table cloth in the back yard, put your boom box in the window -- wedding. Not that you can't be pregnant and still care a lot about your wedding. I mean, there's Ashlee Simpson. Congrats, Ash. It just seems like a confusing priority for her to suddenly have. Dexter says that he can indeed get the wedding bands and she's like, "Right. Like the engagement ring you never got me?" Ouch. He reminds her that she said she didn't want one and she replies, "I don't want one. Who drank all of the orange juice?" Dexter, Astor, and Cody all slowly turn away from her.