Dexter

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Mr. Stupidhead: B | Grade It Now!
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Dex And Redemption

NA meeting, where some dude is going on and on trying to remember the first time he used. Everyone is blazing hot and fanning themselves, and Dexter is falling asleep because this guy really is so fucking boring. Great casting. "Don't you hurt my baby!" cries Laura Moser, now slowly working her way into Dexter's dreams. "Don't look! Close your eyes! Mommy loves you!" she says, now fully visible. Dexter is recalling his first-person point-of-view, and he looks around the inside of the shipping container, where three thugs have just entered, one of them holding a chainsaw that he's revving. He has a scar on his left eye. As the three men approach, the doors on the unit swing wide open, and there's adult Dexter, as The Dark Defender. He immediately starts kicking all kinds of ass, and takes down the two side-thugs in a matter of seconds. The last guy, with the chainsaw approaches Dexter and tries to slice his head off, but Dexter ducks adeptly and kicks the dude in the ribs, then grabs his head and cracks his neck. As some Elfman-esque French horns blare on the score, Laura Moser realizes her arms are empty where little Dexter was just a moment previous, and looks at Dexter in disbelief. "It's okay, Mom. You're safe." He goes to her and grabs her by the hand, and people clap. The clapping gets louder, and Dexter wakes up to find himself drooling, back at his NA meeting. "Mmm, that's hot," says Lila.

Now over coffee, she asks, "Where'd you drift off to, anyway?" He explains he was having a dream about his mom, and she replies, "Say no more. Oedipus complex. Explains a lot." First of all, not really. Second of all, ew. "So, what were you doing to your mother in this dream?" "Saving her life. She was murdered, when I was a boy. I was there, I saw it happen. I've never told anyone that before." Lila looks amazed, and says, "Come on." Dex follows her out of the meeting. "Have you thought maybe you weren't saving your mother in this dream? Maybe, you were saving yourself?" "That's not what happened." "Don't be so sure. When I got clean, all the seriously fucked-up reasons I used in the first place began to surface. This could be where your addiction started." Uh duh. "I hope whoever did it got the bloody chair." "There were three men," says Dex, entranced. "I don't know what happened to them!" Well, then, you've got some research and murderin' to do! Lila tells him he needs to confront them, if they're alive and behind bars. Then she uses the word "closure," which makes me want to shit. "How else do you expect to get better?" "I never expected to get better." Well, there you go.

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Dexter

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