Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: B | Grade It Now!
Dex And Redemption

"Last call was thirty minutes ago," says Jimenez, his patience wearing thin with Dexter, who looks at his watch. Dexter drains his beer and says sorry. "I'm avoiding going back to my motel room. I'm visiting from Miami. You ever been there?" "Can't say that I have." Dexter stands up and moves to the end of the bar where Jimenez is standing and cleaning up. "How long you lived in Naples?" he asks. "A few years now." "Like it?" "All right, conyo. Go," he says, pointing at the door. Dexter stands up and says, "Okay, this is going to be awkward, but I need to tell you how I feel." "No, what you need to do is leave, because you've been eyeballing me all night." Jimenez reaches under the bar and produces a baseball bat. "You really shouldn't do that," says Dexter, and I for one agree with him. Jimenez makes a threatening gesture, and Dexter says, "Let me just say what I need to say, and I'll go." Jimenez holds the bat threateningly, but doesn't move. "You stole my life." "Heh, what the fuck? You are really beginning to piss me off!" "I'm not the person I'm supposed to be, because you took someone from me." "I will beat your fucking head in if you don't walk out that fucking door right now!" "I tried Lila's way," says Dex before opening up a couple vats of kick-nuts on the guy. Seriously, he punches the guy so hard it sounds like what I imagine whales fucking sounds like, you know, right in the middle there where the meat of their torso just pounds together. Needless to say, I would never want to be on the receiving end of one of Dex's punches. After dropping the guy, Dex runs to front door and locks it. He returns holding the bat, and says, "1973!" while sinking the bat into Jimenez's ribs. Now, I thought the punching sound was a bit much, but this one tops it easily, because the Foley artists obviously thought it appropriate to add one of those splattery sounds that you hear in Dead Alive, when that guy's respiratory system starts walking around on its own. I digress. Dexter continues to bludgeon the guy, while reminding him of the particular misdeed he's there to see him about. "The Port of Miami? A shipping container? A chainsaw? Laura Moser?" At this, he spits in the guy's face, and I hope he's not trying to avoid being caught, because he's already made quite a mess without spitting his DNA on the guy. "You remember now? You remember now?" Dude, he's kind of losing it. Dex goes to the bar and grabs a knife, which he puts in his mouth before grabbing Jimenez by his feet and dragging him to the back, where he plops him on a pool table.

"You've got me confused with someone else," Jimenez says, and Dexter punches him really fucking hard on the collar bone. "I know exactly who you are! You made me into what I am!" "Okay, okay! I killed her!" Another brutal, brain-shaking punch, and Dexter climbs on top of him. "I had to!" Jimenez shouts. "Did you? Did you have to? Did you have to saw her into little pieces? Did you have to leave two little boys soaking in a pool of their mother's blood?" Jimenez says he would have been killed if he didn't follow orders. "You slaughtered her like an animal because she stole his precious cocaine?" "No, we found out she was a snitch for a cop. She was fucking him!" Whoa. Whoa, dude. If that's true, do you think Dexter might be Harry's biological son, after all? That's fucking crazy. What about Brian? Was he someone else's, and that's why Harry didn't take him too? We'll see. Dexter asks how he knows, and Jimenez says he followed them to a park. "My mother and Harry? That's what got her killed?" Dexter's phone rings, and he says, "I'm not done with you yet," before delivering a knock-out blow. "Isn't this what heroes do? Avenge lost loved ones?" he VOs, before screaming aloud, and then answering his phone. "What?" "Everything okay?" asks Lila, hearing Dexter's heavy breathing. "Dexter, what's wrong?" "Thought I could resist," he says. "Jesus, are you using?" "No, but I'm about to." "Tell me where you are, and I'll get in a taxi, and I'll come get you." "I have to do this." "No, you don't!" Yes, he does! Quit gettin' in the way! "Just tell me where you are!" she implores. "You'll be too late." "Don't you bloody do this. You are stronger than that!" "I'm not!" he screams, now holding the knife to Jimenez's passed-out face. "If you turn back now, you'll go right back to the way you were: hollow, angry, alone. I will get you through this, I swear. Just come back to me, okay?" Dexter hangs up, and hovers for a moment before leaving Jimenez on the pool table.

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