The Dark…Whatever

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
Walls Closing In

...and even though Dexter hightails it away from him, as you might expect, Masuka chases him and keeps at him about the girl, and then Batista pipes up that it's Hannah. Dexter catches flies, but Batista is like, "Um, my sister still works for you. Of course I know that," and, awesomely for Dexter, Deb is witness to this whole exchange and asks Masuka and Batista what's so great about Dexter dating Hannah and they don't actually say out loud that they'd each give a testicle to hit that, but it's pretty clear. So Deb, infuriated, drags Dexter into her office...

...wherein she asks Dexter, reasonably enough, if dating a notorious murderer is the kind of attention he really needs, given his own extracurricular activities. Dexter, politely enough, requests that she butt out. While Deb agrees as far as Hannah's relationship with Dexter goes, she's not going to let Hannah get away with murder again and she's not playing: "I have compromised the shit out of myself for you; I am sure as fuck not gonna do it for Hannah McKay." Dexter, wanting to be anywhere but there, says he gets it and then Deb grants him his wish by reminding him they have the PA to catch. When he's gone, she heads straight into her bottle of Xanax and I don't think those come with an "as needed" refill contingency, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Dexter checks up on Whack-A-Phil and sees that he has a fantastic record of success at his job, which makes him wonder if Whack-A-Phil had an inside track on figuring out the fires' points of origin. He seems to wrestle with his promise to Deb for a moment, but makes up his mind and resolutely marches out, heading past Batista and Quinn who are fruitlessly interviewing a couple randos about one particular fire; the guy Batista's talking to is a janitor at a Y, and the woman Quinn's got is super-unimpressed with his questioning, for which I can hardly blame her.

In a parking lot for what looks like a public park, Dexter locates Whack-A-Phil's SUV and when he peers in, sees a bunch of electric fuses and camping fuel -- and then Whack-A-Phil appears, dressed in a Civil War uniform. A cheap but classic laugh and DVO's bone-dry observation that "that's not a fireproof suit" is enough to put it over. Whack-A-Phil is jazzed when he assumes (and Dexter lies) that he's a Civil War enthusiast as well, and in the course of fake-laughing about how awesome this all is, Dexter learns that Whack-A-Phil has a solid alibi for at least one of the fires and a good reason for the stuff in the car. Before Dexter has to look at too many of the cluelessly enthusiastic Whack-A-Phil's photos from the last outing though, he gets a text from Hannah saying that coffee has moved on to dinner and inviting Dexter to join them. My guess is that Dexter's only slightly happier about this prospect than that of having to join Whack-A-Phil in uniform...

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