Stranded in the water miles off shore, Dexter thinks he's going to die, but he's rescued at the last minute and makes it back to Miami. Since he thinks Colin Hanks is long gone (with no particular basis for that, I feel compelled to point out), he brings Jamie and Harrison back to the house, with both the solar eclipse and the pageant only a day away. Deb, thinking that Dexter had an accident on his boat, comes to see her shirtless brother and slobber love all over him and GROSS, and then they get a call to the home of the couple that Colin Hanks murdered most recently, in which Dexter is of course first person in so he can obliterate the Dexmaster face before anyone else sees it, which is completely preposterous. However, Dexter notices a drawing Colin Hanks left behind of the eclipse, and wonders if he can exploit the fact that Colin Hanks thinks he's dead. But this point is a double-edged sword, as since Colin Hanks has Dexter's wallet and keys and thinks he's dead, he decides to hide out at his place.
Before we go any further, let's mop up the other silly plots: Greene asks Masuka if he can stay on permanently, which leads to Masuka telling him he's not good enough, which is possibly the most hilarious thing that's ever been said on this show. Also, Deb takes a good guess as to where Colin Hanks is going to be for the eclipse, and with her speculation and Colin Hanks's drawing Dexter figures out exactly where it is. And, LaGuerta does some actual police work, which is kind of amazing, and leads them all to realize that Colin Hanks is going to make a sacrifice. Oh, and Deb really is in love with Dexter, like EW, SAINT THERAPIST.
At Dexter's place, Colin Hanks discovers Harrison's existence (without killing Jamie, thankfully) and learns about the pageant. He succeeds in kidnapping Harrison and taking him to the appointed place, with Dexter in hot pursuit, of course. Dexter invokes his Beast-ness in getting Colin Hanks to forego killing Harrison, but Colin Hanks has Dexter inject himself with his own needle in return for sparing Harrison's life. But of course, Dexter faked him out and captures him, and seriously, I think the Scenes From Next Week about this bit were longer than it played out in reality. Anyway, after Dexter returns Harrison to Jamie's care, he has a verbal dance with Colin Hanks right before he kills him…witnessed by Deb. Okay, that should have happened a year ago, but I still didn't see that coming, so one good thing happened this season, at least.
Check out this interview with Colin Hanks, courtesy of Hulu's The Morning After show:
It's night out on the water, and a shivering, ashen Dexter hangs on to a small piece of the exploded rowboat as DVO fatalistically opines that it's fitting for him to die in the same place he left so many others. And are they going to give you a stern talking-to when your corpse floats down to them, Dexter. Night turns to day, and DVO continues by wondering whether the world will be a better place without him, but, after the piece of wood to which he's been clinging finally gives up the ghost and sinks down, he kind of answers his own question by saying he's going to miss watching his son grow up.
Exhausted, Dexter sinks down, resigned to this being the end, but when he pops back up, he sees a boat coming toward him; soon, he's being hauled onto it, in shock at his good fortune as much as at his near miss. A woman tells him in broken English that he's lucky, and that God is looking out for him, and Dexter isn't too tired to raise his atheist eyebrows at her.
Later, after Dexter's gotten some shut-eye, a man who seems like the captain, or at least the driver, pulls a gun and starts shaking everyone (they're Cuban refugees, odds are) down, but keeping his back turned to the white dude who almost drowned turns out not to be as safe a move as he thought, nor is threatening to kill a pregnant lady, because this gives Dexter all the Code sanctioning he needs to pick up a fishing spear and run the guy through. Everyone's like, thanks? Hilariously, Dexter tells them they're safe, and then heads up to drive the boat...
...and soon, they're in shallow enough water off the coast of Miami that everyone swims for it, and given that they've all got their luggage wrapped in plastic, I'd guess they anticipated this part. Probably happy it was only a few hundred yards. As he staggers onto the beach, DVO says since Colin Hanks said it's finished, he has no way to find him, so he's going home to Harrison. I'd point out that Dexter's not taking the whole End of the World thing into account, really, but he's had a rough twenty-four hours, so I'll let it slide. (I will point out, though, how terrific it is that the physical exertion of STAYING AFLOAT FOR AN ENTIRE DAY didn't seem to bring on any more dizziness. That would have been inconvenient!) On the beach, Dexter exhaustedly asks some dude if he can borrow his phone, and it would have been awesome if he'd charged Dexter a quarter.