Dexter
Those Kinds Of Things

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: C | 1 USERS: D+
YOU GRADE IT
Gross Point Shank

While he's being the most popular invisible person in Florida, Joe gets away. He goes to the bathroom because he's a little freaked out. Harry is there. He reminds Dex that he's had a personal tragedy, he looks better than he did in high school and he has a cool job. Totally a recipe for popular. He hates it. This is truly the thinking that makes him a psychopath, if you ask me. He doesn't like being on everyone's radar, especially when he has a whole bunch of stuff used to kill people hiding in his trunk. Harry tells Dexter to enjoy being popular. Time will tell but that does not sound like the Harry that we know.

Authentic Harry or not, it facilitates Dexter holding court with a bunch of people in Angel shirts. He tells them that blood splatter is less job, more calling. Some dude with his back to the camera because they didn't want to play SAG wages or something lifts a beer and appears to say, "You guys are the modern American cowboys." Absolutely not. That's what the Real Housewives are. So, he finally makes his move over to Joe and gets his ring ready, but Joe gives him a fist bump and it makes him cut himself. Also, he doesn't remember Dexter. Joe, you see, is hot and rich, so Dexter is not impressive to him. Dexter says that he is a "lab geek" for the Miami PD, which is what finally rings a bell with Joe. Dexter is feeling a little deflated, it appears. He offers his condolences about Janet dying and Joe says he'd heard the same thing about Dexter. So, remembering that Dexter was a lab geek in high school is what rang a bell with him in regards to his wife having been slain at his house? Weird. Unless Joe was lying about not knowing who he was in the first place, which is entirely possible. Joe says that, even after three years, he gets really angry at Janet for leaving him the way she did. He spots Tricia across the room and is impressed that the prom queen still looks as hot as she did in high school. His one regret is not having spent enough time preparing for his AP English test. Kidding. He regrets not having tapped Tricia's sweet ass. But, Dexter reminds him, he was dating Janet at the time. Um, yeah, that's right, he responds. He goes to say hello. Then, everybody line dances to "U Can't Touch This." Including Dexter. Everyone seems so alone. I wonder if they all have astral dead parents talking to them from the sidelines.

The next day, Colin Hanks and Edward James Olmos are scoping out a fruit stand on the side of the road. Eddie tells him to get cracking. Colin takes a duffle bag out of his trunk and approaches the fruit stand guy. Once he gets to the guy, he starts reciting religious sounding stuff with trees and numbers and things. Colin asks the guy for oranges and when he's turned around, Colin pulls a mega machete out of his bag. Orange you wishing you'd stayed in bed this morning?

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Dexter

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