Dexter
Those Kinds Of Things

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: C | 1 USERS: D+
YOU GRADE IT
Gross Point Shank

Angel and Jamie go to dinner. She says that Dexter is a very good boss. Angel says that he feels like Dexter is finally moving past Rita's death, but Jamie thinks that the pain is so much sometimes that he has to disappear sometimes on his boat. Uh oh. It makes me nervous when they start dropping info like this. Like maybe Angel's going to get in Dexter's way at some point, like ole' Doakes. Angel orders a bottle of champagne and tells Jamie that he's the next Lieutenant. Jamie takes her sweater off and Angel tells her that she looks naked. He doesn't want anyone to think they're dating and now she's all sexualized. She reminds him that she's his sister, even though they didn't grow up together. On another show, where people talk organically and stuff, this wouldn't seem so weird. But, since the dialogue is so clunky and expository, this makes me think that there going to be some weird incest angle happening? Right? Gross. She says he's just like their father.

The nun who Dexter interviewed with arrives at school and he's waiting for her. He apologizes for sounding indifferent about religion earlier. He says he wants Harrison to have a normal childhood, so he wants him to go to the school. The nun focuses on him, then says she'll see what she can do.

A lady is jogging on the beach when she discovers the fruit stand guy's body. Dexter arrives on the scene as Masuka's intern is taking pictures. It's not the hot girl! Deb is surprised and Masuka seems offended. He says that he chose the student with the highest test scores. They approach the body and the intern confirms that the guy is dead. Deb notices that someone cut the chest of the guy open after he was dead. It's Omar Rivera. He has been stitched back up. The stitching is in the shape of Alpha and Omega, which Quinn recognizes because dated some sorority girls when he was younger. "Of course you did," replies Deb. Then, the guy's chest starts moving. Dexter cuts open the stitches and "Holy freaking fuck! Snakes!" Deb really voiced my feelings there. Dexter counts seven snakes, then Masuka's intern passes out. Masuka is not a little excited that the runner-up for intern is the hottie. Dexter says that someone put the snakes into Omar's body. Dexter recognizes that this was not done by an amateur.

Dexter is back at the reunion and getting ready to off Joe when Tricia stops him in the hall. She tells him that she made it through high school by cheating off of his papers. She says she never noticed how cute he was and pushes him into a chemistry room where she proceeds to thank him with her own nakedness and a bj. Once she's (or rather he's) done, she bounces away, but not before he snatches her phone. He texts Joe from that phone and tells him to meet him for something dirty. He goes to some storage closet where Dexter is waiting. Dex is about to knock him out with an injection when he slaps the syringe out of his hand. He VO's, "Fast reflexes. I hate jocks." He tries to throw a punch at Dex, but he dodges and gets him with a choke hold. Joe wakes up on his death bed. He tries to say he didn't kill Janet, but Dex shoves a football in his mouth. Then, he says that he and Janet were having problems. Divorce was going to be sooo expensive, so he killed her. Dexter reveals the tattoo of Jesus on Joe's chest and asks what He would have done? Dex asks him how he believes in God and still killed someone. He mumbles something about being forgiven for killing people. So, Dexter will be forgiven if he kills Joe? No, not that way. In fact, he says that God will give Dexter life everlasting and a lot of other nice things if he spares Joe. Still not working. Well, then, God will SMITE him if he kills Joe. Dexter is tired of this. He knocks him out with a hammer, then stabs him as he VO's that it's "Hammer Time." That whole God breakdown was pretty interesting and thoughtful.

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Dexter

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