Dexter

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: A- | 1657 USERS: B-
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"Dex, As A Dark Shadow, Beckons His Prey."

Dexter's watching footage of his kills being retrieved on his computer, and Deb comes out of the bathroom. "Bathroom's all yours." "Kind of always was." Heh, true. Deb goes to the fridge, grabs the OJ, and drinks straight from the bottle. "We run out of glasses?" asks Dex smarmily. "Clean ones," she replies. Dex tells her to come over to the computer, where he's found some apartments on Craig's List. Deb is unimpressed with all of the offerings: "Shitty neighborhood." "It gets morning sun," says Dex hopefully. Deb doesn't reply, and Dexter implores her to give it a chance. Deb just says that she has to meet with Pascal, and rushes out after leaving the OJ bottle on the desk. "I will not kill my sister, I will not kill my sister, I will not kill my sister," Dex VOs. Why not, dude? As Dex puts the OJ away, his cell rings, and it's Rita, according to his caller ID. "Hey, you," he says, only to find Astor on the other end. "Dexter?" "Astor? Sweetie, what's the matter?" "Mom's acting all weird and stuff." "What kind of weird?" "She keeps talking to people on the phone about my dad, then she starts yelling at them. Then she yells at me and Cody." "I'm on my way." Good man, Dex.

Over at Rita's, Rita is on the phone, saying, "No, calm is what I was thirty-five minutes ago, pissed is what I am now." Dexter comes in, and he announces that he's got Eggo waffles. The kids don't seem to care much, which is bullshit, because when I was that young, I would have been psyched for waffles. Hell, I'm psyched for some now. In fact...excuse me.

Okay, I'm back. Mmm, waffles. Anyhow, Rita hangs up the phone, and exclaims, "Assholes!" "Which assholes were you talking to?" asks Dex. "Funeral home assholes," replies Rita exasperatedly. Dexter wonders aloud why she's having a funeral for FND (Father Now Dead). "For the kids. For me. We had his old insurance policy, it's only about five thousand dollars, but it should cover everything." Dexter points out that the county will bury FND for free: "He wasn't even your husband. Anymore. Technically." He goes on to say that maybe the money would be better used for starter scholarships for the kids. "Dexter, I didn't ask for your help, or your advice," she says snippily, and turns away. "I'll never understand how people deal with death," he VOs. "Why they can't just...put it in its place," he finishes, watching Cody play with Russian nesting dolls. Got it. Symbolism. Compartmentalizing. Loud and clear.

Dexter

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