Dexter

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Mr. Stupidhead: B+ | Grade It Now!
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"Dex, As A Dark Shadow, Beckons His Prey."

Over at Rita's, Rita is on the phone, saying, "No, calm is what I was thirty-five minutes ago, pissed is what I am now." Dexter comes in, and he announces that he's got Eggo waffles. The kids don't seem to care much, which is bullshit, because when I was that young, I would have been psyched for waffles. Hell, I'm psyched for some now. In fact...excuse me.

Okay, I'm back. Mmm, waffles. Anyhow, Rita hangs up the phone, and exclaims, "Assholes!" "Which assholes were you talking to?" asks Dex. "Funeral home assholes," replies Rita exasperatedly. Dexter wonders aloud why she's having a funeral for FND (Father Now Dead). "For the kids. For me. We had his old insurance policy, it's only about five thousand dollars, but it should cover everything." Dexter points out that the county will bury FND for free: "He wasn't even your husband. Anymore. Technically." He goes on to say that maybe the money would be better used for starter scholarships for the kids. "Dexter, I didn't ask for your help, or your advice," she says snippily, and turns away. "I'll never understand how people deal with death," he VOs. "Why they can't just...put it in its place," he finishes, watching Cody play with Russian nesting dolls. Got it. Symbolism. Compartmentalizing. Loud and clear.

At the lab, Dexter's looking at Little Chino's mug-shots and VO-ing, "Now I have to find someone who knows I'm looking for him. Not exactly ideal in the element-of-surprise department. And I have to find a new way to dispose of Little Chino's body, if I can close the deal this time." Dexter looks up in time to see Deb and LaGuerta walking out of Pascal's office. "You totally douched me in there," Deb tells her. "You clocked a guy in a bar who touched your arm. Yeah, I told the Lieutenant you weren't ready for active duty." Deb thanks her sarcastically for the "fucking vote of confidence," and storms off in a huff. Mmm mmm mmm. What a little asshole. Masuka walks in and announces that there are now thirteen confirmed bodies from the BHB (Bay Harbor Butcher), and Angel mentions that he heard the FBI is coming in to work the case. LaGuerta snarks that Matthews is going to take all the credit for the FBI's work: "Nice political move when you're bucking for Deputy Chief." Yeah, you wouldn't know anything about political moves, would you? Doakes asks who the feds are sending, and Angel says it's "some guy named Lundy." "Frank Lundy?" Doakes asks, recognizing the name. "He's a rock star! The Green River Killer and the DC Sniper? The case was impossible, and he broke it." Gulp. LaGuerta tells Doakes he should do whatever he can to get on Lundy's task force: "It's a career-maker!" Doakes looks skeptical, so Angel rolls over to him in his chair and says, "Hey, just visualize the door of opportunity just opening up wide for you, bro, and just walk right through it." Doakes says what we're all thinking: "Angel, you keep up with this woo-woo shit, I'm gonna walk right through you." Heh.

The elevator bell rings, and out steps Beef Bus with his attorney. "Little Chino, shit!" Dexter VOs as he rolls his chair out of sight. "This guy is officially the highest point in all of Florida." Yeah, word. Dude is a fucking elephant. Doakes stands up to stare at BB, and Dex VOs, "What's he doing here?" "People tell me you're looking for my client," says BB's not-so-beefy attorney. "People tell you right," says Pascal, who's just stepped out of her office.

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Dexter

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